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I'll admit, having a girl who'd go the extra mile for me would be nice.
Not just any girl.
Lately, it's her I want.
I still deny this, even though a certainty has taken root in the depths of my mind, that of having Becca only for myself.
Love's not my thing. I could never promise her that because I wasn’t made for relationships aren't my forte, but I’m loyal. It's a dominant trait in me, and if I weren't so stubborn, I might have already become Becca's faithful lapdog, but I haven't sunk to that level, letting a girl control me.
I'm used to girls chasing me, not the other way around. It wouldn't be a bad thing if most of those weren't just after their own agendas. They want the status they'd get by being around me, and I believe I deserve more than just a submissive pussy and the fake attention one of these girls would offer.
Their willingness makes them dull.
The fact that they want me leaves me cold.
Their lack of challenge makes me lose interest quickly.
Becca, on the other hand, she doesn't want me, which is exactly my type.
And even though I don't care about relationships or love, I want to matter to someone, and I want it to be real.
Becca awakened hidden desires within me without even trying. Her sharp comebacks simmered within me until I finally got their message. I had forgotten all those moments when she accused me of trying to be someone I'm not, wearing a mask, and putting on this disgusting shallow act.
Who on earth would want to be superficial in this world?
I want to be memorable.
I want her to see I’m unique.
It bugs me how she’s all over Samael like he's so special. I mean, what's so cool about sleeping in a library, because that’s basically his room, on top of being messy, playing soccer out of boredom, because it doesn't look like he's giving it his all, being a huge Harry Potter nerd, being good at drawing, having a decent singing voice, good enough for the church choir on Thanksgiving, and learning the scores of all six songs for the organ, accompanied by the choir, within a week, all while he had never played the organ before?
It's so annoying!
Why is he so good at everything?
Some are born blessed, while others are stuck working.
The universe should reward hard work, not just talent. Not everyone's gifted from birth. I'm stuck in the latter group, born without a single ounce of talent. But my mom, she's been hell-bent on proving otherwise. I never lacked anything in my childhood. She started with the overwhelming attention, kept it up by granting my every wish, and topped it off by consistently pushing me into the spotlight, telling me I'm always the best, and giving me the drive to be even better.
But being the best when you're not naturally gifted can be exhausting.
So sometimes, I hit a breaking point and it feels like I can't breathe and in those moments I make a split-second decision to stop and plug up the string of my problems with a makeshift solution, which usually just ends up creating more problems.
I know things are going to get ugly tonight. I'm gonna mess up and find myself face to face with the devil, but I can't seem to help myself.
Saza Nasreen, Becca's only friend, wants to get into Crasnics for a while now. If she’s itching so much for it, I will do the scratching.
Becca would probably hate me even more if she had a clue about what I’m planning for the little habibti.
Like, what if I pulled everyone around her away, leaving her all alone?
What if I was the last one standing by her side?
Would she finally see the real me?
Would she realize that I'm the only one who genuinely gives a damn about her?
Saza, on the other hand, is asking for it, and tonight, I'll prove to her that she's found what she's been looking for. She'll just be collateral damage in this, because my real target is Becca. I'm well aware that I'm taking a risk, because her father, a man who loves Allah, will probably stone me if he learns what I’m planning with his daughter. But it's obvious from a mile away that she wants me, and she wants to feel special – to become the second girl in the Crasnics. I already can’t stand Rhea anymore, she can never truly be a Crasnic, simply because she's a girl, and girls aren't allowed to put on the mask, yet, I was stupid enough back then to let her. I need fresh meat, and there’s nothing I love more than to put my hands on what’s forbidden.
