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"I am, trust me. I'm feeling about a hundred different emotions. I feel pissed off, a little hurt that he'd suggest it at all, jealous because I don't want True's hands on anyone but me fake or otherwise, but what I'm feeling the most?"
Kennedy leaned in and grabbed my hand across the table, giving it a little squeeze.
"What I'm feeling the most is guilt because if it wasn't for me, True would do this in a heartbeat, and his album would be a success. I feel like I'm going to hold him back."
"Oh, honey. That's not right. True loves you and you know it. I'm sure he doesn't feel like you're holding him back." The waitress picked that moment to drop off our food and I grabbed a napkin to dab at my watery eyes.
"I don't know, Ken. I don't want him to regret being with me or feel like he had to pick between the baby and me and his career. I'd never want to make him choose."
Her eyes softened, and she looked at me with sympathy. "I know how you feel. Last year when Zen was talking about quitting the band, I felt horrible that he'd do that because of me. I could never let it happen no matter what, so I can relate."
"So what do I do? What would you do?" I sniffled and picked up a fry, dipping it into my milkshake and taking a bite.
"Let me ask you a question first. You're not ready to go public with your relationship and the baby and everything yet, right?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to bring that kind of attention down on me or little P, so no. I'm not ready for that. Honestly, I don't know if I ever will be. I guess that's one of the perks of being with the guitarist instead of the lead singer."
Kennedy laughed. "Shit, that's so true. The paparazzi are a real bitch most of the time."
"I don't know how you do it."
She shrugged. "Zen's worth it, no matter how bad it gets."
"I'm starting to get how you feel."
"As for what I would do? I wouldn't let another woman touch my man, fake or otherwise. But I'm a jealous bitch, and I don't want anyone's hands on Zen unless they're mine. He feels the same way."
I slumped down in the booth. "My gut tells me I'll probably feel like that, too, but I can probably avoid seeing it if I stay off social media and the internet."
She finished chewing the huge bite of hamburger she'd just taken. "You really think you can do that?"
"It's not like it's forever. It'd only be for three months. And he'll be coming home to me."
Kennedy considered while she sipped her shake. "I guess. Who's the actress anyway?"
"Lexi something. Lovegood, maybe?" I pulled out my phone.
"Wait. Lexi Lovecroft?" Her eyes widened, and she grabbed her phone, Googling.
She scrolled through her phone. "Damn, she's pretty, but the internet has not been kind to her. She's a total dumpster fire."
I nodded. "True mentioned that she's one of Harrison's clients, but none of the studios want to work with her. That's why she needs this, too."
She turned her phone toward me, and I studied the picture. "Can you handle this chick draping herself all over True? For three months?"
My chest felt like it was burning, and I pursed my lips. "Ugh. Even thinking about it pisses me off, but do I really have a choice here? I know True won't do it if I say he shouldn't, but I feel like if his album doesn't do well, it'll be my fault. I have to find a way to be okay with it."
She sighed. "It's not going to be easy, but you're strong enough to handle it. You'll have me and Montana and True. Plus, Zen will kill him if he does anything at all to hurt you."
"I love you." I gave her a watery smile as she squeezed my hand.
"I love you, too. You've got this." Kennedy let go of my hand and stuffed a fry in her mouth.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down at it, groaning.
"What was that about?" She nodded toward my phone.
"Do you remember me telling you about Miles and Kent?"
