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Natalie purses her lips and nods. “I guess you’re right.”
“But what if you’re not brave enough to do that?” I ask, anxiety already twisting in my belly.
“Then you wait for the push.”
We start walking again, and I wade a little deeper into the ocean, the prickle of cold against my skin a welcome distraction.
And Natalie, maybe sensing my disquiet, fills the silence with memories of being on other beaches at other times, and her stories take me away to distant shores I’ve never even thought of visiting.
Gradually, I leave behind the twisting feeling in my gut and laugh with her, and share funny stories of my own too, and when we’ve walked for an hour and we’re finally back at our respective accommodations, we exchange numbers and genuine hugs.
“I don’t know why,” she says as a parting comment. “But I have a feeling you’re about to change paths and it’s going to be a good thing.”
“I hope you’re right,” I say as I begin the walk back to the men who are changing me without even knowing it. “I really hope you’re right.”
23
TOM
I catch Jimmy while I’m fixing coffee and he’s stretching after an early morning run. I love running, but I’d rather do it in the evening when the sun is on its way down and I can exercise away any tension I’ve gathered throughout the day. It helps me sleep too, which shouldn’t make sense, but somehow does.
“How was last night…you know…was Allie okay after?”
“She was good,” he says. “I made sure of that because…well…it wasn’t what I was expecting.” He grimaces and I’m immediately sympathetic because I don’t know if I would have been able to handle what happened as well as he did.
“I know.” I shake my head and rest my hand on the dark counter. “There was a moment when I wondered if I should have stepped in to stop it, but Allie seemed adamant it was something she wanted…then I just felt like I would have been suppressing her desires.”
“Same.” He nods, reaching over to his outstretched leg to grasp his toes. “I thought Theron was out of line with this idea, but it seems that he read Allie better than all of us. She’s on some kind of voyage of self-discovery, of self-exploration, if that makes sense.”
“It does.” Ifoldmy lips between my teeth and push them out, considering if there’s anything else I can ask to make sure that I fulfill her needs and expectations. “What do you think she’s expecting now? I mean, last night she stepped over a line. Do you think she’ll want to do that again? Or more.” Clearing my throat, I take another sip of coffee. “What I’m asking is, should I get together with Gabe and Clay to find out if they’re cool with taking Allie’s experience one step further? Or should I just approach this from a solo perspective?”
“I think you should ask Allie what she wants. I might be wrong…I’m not the brightest guy here…but the other guys seem mostly chill. They’re probably up for anything, as long as it’s okay with Allie.”
“What’s okay with Allie?” a feminine voice asks from the doorway. Allie appears, dressed in running gear with her hair tugged into a tousled bun. She’s windswept and sun-kissed and beautiful for it.
Jimmy steps in to avoid the question. “How was your walk?”
“Calming.” She eyes his stretching position and then makes her way past me into the kitchen. “The woman next door really is living her best life.”
“Three husbands is living her best life?” Jimmy questions.
“Not just that, although it does seem like an integral part of it. She’s just really got things together…her work, her family life, her focus on her goals.”
“You sound envious,” I say.
Allie shrugs but it’s with tension in her shoulders and expression. “She’s older than me.”
Time and life experience can give people perspective and opportunity, but it isn’t everything. People in their eighties can look back on a whole lifetime and not feel as though they ever did what they wanted to do. Years trickle through our fingers if we’re not careful. I’ve wasted enough of mine to know. I’m about to offer my perspective when the doorbell rings.
The last time we were interrupted was when the dildo making kits were delivered. Intrigued, Jimmy pushes up to stand and the three of us make our way to the front door. As this is Allie’s gig, Jimmy and I stand back while she opens up.
As soon as she sees who’s out there, Allie takes a step back, and her spine straightens. “Kirsty. Hi.”
A woman, with hair so white and shiny, she looks like she’s wearing an old school helmet, breezes past Allie straight into the house.
Okay.
The doorbell has brought the rest of the men in this house out of hiding, and they assemble in the seating area as though the woman who just arrived conjured them with telepathy.
