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Not the silent one because, damn, you have a mouth when you wanna use it.
Pun intended.
Because hell, yes, you used it on me this morning.
You went to your knees while I was brushing my teeth, and I saw stars to you sucking my cock so deep. Now that I’m not hiding. Now that I can really let go, I did. I let you grab my ass while I held your head and thought you’d choke on me, but you kept moaning like you loved it.
Damn, you always make me come so hard.
Even with a fucking toothbrush in my mouth.
And our perfect night?
I’ll never forget it.
All those other women I barely remember fucking. They’re a blur but not you, Cade. I see you, touch you, and God when I make you moan; it’s locked in my memory forever.
I disappear in you. In your taste. Our taste. Fuck, that turns me on. I’ve never done that before, and now I won’t stop. It’s us together and so damn real. Like I’m finally alive again and need to live every day with you.
But is it enough, Cade?
Our love?
Yeah, we can laugh. We always could. We can hang out without a word or fuss over stupid shit like the right way to hang toilet paper. (OVER, BTW).
And like hell if we can’t fuck ourselves into bliss.
But then I see it in your eyes. How you’re blaming yourself about me.
Your guilt.
That’s what I feared.
I tried protecting you from that for ten years because it’s tearing you up inside.
I fought like hell to get better, and I love you so much; I don’t want it to destroy you now. Because it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.
But I know you blame yourself, so I can’t tell you how sometimes I remember things I don’t want to.
So now, you fight your guilt while I fight my addiction, and you don’t know how strong it can be. I worry it’ll sneak up on us. Like a rogue wave.
The only thing that’s stronger… is my love for you.
And I promise, Cade, I’ll hang on to you as long as I can.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
I don’t know why they’re putting makeup on him. Redix perpetually glows. And he keeps a sexy shadow of a beard that I love the tickle of down my belly.
But our perfect day three is on hold.
He got called to the studio for reshoots. Something about the producers changing the script for a love scene: they re-wrote it into a break-up since the actor playing his girlfriend won’t renew her contract.
“Emma should be paid more, so fuck them if they won’t,” Redix said, pulling us into the studio lot.
“Why don’t you threaten to walk out to help her?”
It was an ungodly hour as he parked outside a row of trailers.
