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Maybe I should let go. Maybe if I do, I’ll drift safely toward Silas, toward a new shore, and not get sucked under in this ache.
Because I can’t stay in this pain forever.
I make myself reply. It feels strange. Does this mean it’s wrong? Making my fingertip text him back; I’m tired of hurting.
I just want
…
It stops me.
I don’t know what at first until I really hear it. Above the waves sloshing to shore and the wind blowing over my ears, a song plays behind me.
“Chasing Cars.”
And my chin starts trembling, shaking with my lips quivering; I didn’t think I could cry any more. The sky blurs, and my shoulders, I try to keep them from shaking into sobs, but they do because…
This can’t be happening.
This isn’t chance. This isn’t coincidence. I close my eyes; it’s him. And I can sense him, hearing his call.
Redix is sitting right behind me.
“Is this stalking, Detective?”
That bourbon voice, I huff a laugh, joy filling my lungs with the air I need.
“Yes,”—I turn my wet chin so he can hear over my shoulder—“it is.”
“Does that mean I’ll get cuffs and your hands on me too?”
“It means I’ll beat the shit out of you.”
“I’d rather”—his voice draws closer—“you beat the fuck out of me.”
His heat rises over my back, warming through my long sleeve shirt.
“Come on. Beat the fuck out of me, Candy Cade.” His lips find my ear, reaching for my heart again. “I deserve it for what I did.”
Remembering his limp body, his eyes that wouldn’t open, I can’t speak. What emotions tumble through me, smashed like broken shells in the surf, I don’t know, but I can’t move. But he does. His tan legs appear in my side vision.
“Is this seat taken?”
“Yes.”
“Who are you saving it for?”
My sunglasses, I push them atop my head, pushing all pride aside too. I look up at him, not afraid to answer, “For the love of my life. For the one who promised me infinity.”
Wearing only board shorts, he sits beside me on the towel, my breath burning as he faces me.
“I’m so sorry, Cade.” He swallows hard before barely saying, “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Yes, you do.”
It’s in the sky of his eyes staring at me. “And I love you.”
“Say it again.”
