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What Cade’s dad means to me. How he saved me that night. And her mama, what she just told me? They’re my family, no matter who I’m with.
“We weren’t married, but our families are close.”
“That must make this hard.”
Fucking excruciating.
She shuffles on her heels. “Look, if this isn’t gonna work.”
“I don’t know what’s gonna work.”
I don’t want to lie. Her heart looks broken, and I don’t want to hurt her.
“Then why are you here with me?” She closes the distance between us. “Why did you go out with me again?”
“Because I know I have to try. And you seem so familiar—”
“Then let’s try.”
She cuts my words off by putting her lips to mine and pulling my neck down. It happens so fast. She’s kissing me, and shock keeps me from pushing her away until I just let her. I let her kiss me because I know how to act through a kiss while other thoughts storm my mind.
What if Cade didn’t do it? Do I want her back? Will she even take me back? What about Silas? Why doesn’t he fill me with rage? Why do I wonder about him, too?
Karen’s tongue searches for mine and I try hard and search, too, but I feel nothing pressed to her lips. Not my heart. Not my body. Not even my dick responds.
“Karen.” I pull away, trying not to hurt her. “I need to figure my shit out. It’s only fair to tell you.”
“I understand.” Her cheeks are flushed, but her words are controlled. “We do steps, right? I’m here, and we’ll do this in steps. As slow as you want. Just one more date.”
And because I’m tired of letting people down, breaking their hearts, and bombing their lives, as my sister said.
“Okay,” I agree.
Because this feels like a current pulling me down the river when all I want to do is sink into dreams of Cade. I miss her so much; I’d drown there to have her back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Leave.” I gently nudge Penny toward her minivan. “Go get a box of chocolates and five screaming orgasms.”
“Five? Two would be a win for me, but rub it in, Ms. I Went To A Sex Club And Had A Public Threesome.”
I don’t blush. That memory tingles my body, and a not-guilty smile lifts my lips. I share everything (almost) with Penny, and she’s been munching popcorn from the sidelines of my adventurous sex life with Silas lately.
“You’ll have at least three tonight,” I promise her, “with those toys I put in your gift. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Alright, fine.” Penny drops into her driver’s seat beside the red bag I left her. “I’ll be back tomorrow by noon. Please don’t let her get off her schedule.”
I get to babysit my goddaughter, Nina, while Penny and her husband get a rare night off. More like getting off, I hope for her sake.
“I’ve got this.” I hold Nina and munch her fat cheeks, making her giggle. “We’re gonna have a blast. We’re going for a walk and some ice cream, and then it’s a gourmet dinner of baby food and then a late night watching Bridget Jones.”
Seriously, spending Valentine’s with a one-year-old is perfect.
Silas wanted to do something romantic, but I wanted to do something for Penny. Deep down, I’ve only known Valentine’s alone. Not since I was eighteen—when Redix made us a picnic on the beach—did I spend it with someone.
It never felt right to share that day with someone else. Truth is, it still doesn’t.
“I’m just a phone call away.” Penny lingers with her car window down.
