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“I want it,” I swear it to his eyes when he opens them, and this feels right. “I want this with you.”
“Without her here?” He worries about that, too. Like we’re moving on without Cade. Like I’m choosing him over her.
Never.
“She’s here,” I tell him. “She’s in my heart. Yours too. We’ll figure it out, I promise.”
That’s what my soul believes. It’s just my head; my logic can’t see how me and Cade will work. But when I’m with Silas, my heart feels it—we can work. Somehow.
We take a shower together. Standing in the massive marble-encased steamy room, our wet bodies grind into each other while our kisses get more aggressive.
What is this I feel for him? It’s love. It’s lust. It doesn’t feel wrong, but acting like I own him, like he’s all mine, doesn’t feel right either.
You can’t own this man. You can’t claim him as yours. His wet hair slicked back. His perfect body with skin that feels like hard, wet satin. His hands that are so fucking strong. Yes, he can fix anyone—even me.
When he grabs my cock and rubs it against his with our undersides touching in his tight grasp, jerking us both off, I’m going to lose my mind. And all my troubles.
“Oh fuck,” I groan, wrapping my hand over his and helping him.
“You sure you want me to fuck you?” He presses his forehead to mine, and other than Cade, I’ve never felt this desperate for anyone else.
“Yes,” I answer, crashing my mouth against his again. His lips are full like Cade’s, but his tongue invades my mouth. His aggression isn’t like hers, and I want more.
The sensitive friction of our cocks rubbing together drives me crazy, and I have one thought. “Fuck me, Silas.” I pant against his lips. “I’m gonna come just saying it.” The surge is sudden. “Fuck my ass.”
And I do. Spilling over his fist, glossing down our cocks, I grunt and come so hard, and I know I’ll get hard again in minutes. His breath shakes, and his eyes take in the sight. Tightening his grip even more, his body follows mine, releasing spurts of his cum over our cocks too.
“Fuck,” he grunts too, and it’s so hot. His sounds and huffing ribs satisfy me as he leans against the tile wall. “I’m gonna need a few minutes before I can.”
“We got time.”
Minutes later, I lock my bedroom door just in case. I close my curtains to the dusk outside, and we crawl into my bed together. Everything’s ready for this. Lube and condoms are on my nightstand. Our bodies are fresh from a shower. There’s nothing but trust here, except there’s one thing missing.
That one beautiful, maddening, sexy, and smart part of us that’s not here.
“I wish she could see this.” Silas kneels between my legs, spread for him. He’s hard as hell at the sight of it, and so am I.
But I feel it, too. She’s missing.
It’s a feeling I’ve suffered for so many years. When Cade isn’t by my side and sharing my life, the void hurts. It’s everything wrong, and only she makes it right.
As much as Silas soothes and satisfies me in ways I didn’t know I needed, I need Cade, too. That’ll always be my truth, my dream… even if I can’t make it happen in life.
“Get your phone,” I tell him.
We won’t do this without her. He calls her, putting her on a video chat.
“Hey,” she answers him, and I can hear it in one word from her voice. She misses us, too.
“We want you here for this.” Silas turns the phone screen so she can see our bodies, our hard cocks, how we’re aligned to fuck. “He wants me to fuck him.” Those words make my cock leak. “And he wants you here too.”
The look on her face. Even on a phone screen. I know her too well. She’s not jealous. She’s not angry. She’s not even shocked.
“Y’all are beautiful,” she sighs, and I can tell she’s in bed too. “Lemme just watch.”
“I want you here,” I confess from every part of me. “I want you with me. With us.”
I stroke my cock, trying to tempt her. Because we can wait the twenty minutes it’ll take her to get here. Hell, I’ve waited this long ever to want a man to fuck me. What’re a few more minutes?
