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If that’s not enough to make me sick, my conversation with Alec does. He heard from Sebastian that I got roped into attending this shareholder meeting in London, so he figured he’d call me when I landed so we could go over all the latest issues behind the scenes of his former NFL team. It was a conversation that quickly turned to the subject of Sophie.
I manage to successfully steer the conversation back to Alec’s life—twice—but as I’m being driven to our Tate International London location, he brings up Sophie again.
“Gonna harp on me about this?”
“Harp? There’s no harping. Just showing interest in your life, is all.”
“Wish you were more like Henry.”
“Absent? Gee thanks, Oliver.”
“No. But Henry minds his own business and it’s a beautiful thing.” It’s not great that he’s usually far removed from the family, or that we often don’t know where he is or even where he’s living, due to his top-secret job.
But in moments like this, I sure wish Alec would back off a little.
“Tell me why you thought it was okay to leave without telling her.” At my groan, Alec continues. “I think if you unpack things a little, you might understand yourself better.”
“If we could end this conversation, I could call her and tell her where I am, and everything will be fine.”
I don’t mention that I don’t exactly believe that to be true. I also don’t mention that when she told me to go for my dreams and live in Capri, it sure felt like that meant we weren’t a thing, or at least wouldn’t be for long. My gut burns.
Which reminds me again of my cowardice.
“Mom’s excited you two are dating. She said if you don’t marry her, you’re a total idiot.”
“Marry her?” The truth is, that thought isn’t as strange to me anymore. I always knew I didn’t want to stop seeing Sophie every year. How that was going to work out when we both had a special someone in our lives wasn’t something I was willing to think about. Now, I’d like my special someone and Sophie to be one and the same.
Alec chuckles. “You’ve known her long enough. I say just go for it.”
“Sure wish you all would mind your own business.”
“I just don’t want this carefree attitude to come back to haunt you. Call her and tell her you weren’t thinking straight when you chose flight over fight. Fix this.”
“Alec, you’re not allowed to give me dating advice.”
“Except it’s not just dating. This isSophie.”
“I know.” The rock in my stomach at being so rash to hop on a plane to London without telling her is not sitting right.
“I don’t think you get it, Oliver. She’s not just some woman you’re getting to know. Even I understand the need to let a woman you’re in love with know when you’re leaving the country.”
I want to protest. I want to tell him I’m not in love with her. But I can’t say that. I can’t say much of anything because I know he’s right.
I slouch down in the car that’s stuck in traffic leaving London, wishing I was in Sophie’s Corolla instead. I find myself daydreaming about that place where her hairline touches her neck, the hollow that curves away from her ear. The softness of her skin.
I should have told her I was going, like a real boyfriend would have. I could have even brought her with me.
When Sebastian told me to go to London for him—he didn’t ask me, he told me—I pushed against it like someone who’s offered a piece of cake at a formal event. You might outwardly balk at the idea because you’re in a nice suit and representing the company and all, but you’re secretly glad you get to eat a piece of cake!
So, yeah. I ran like the coward I am. I used to think it was so great that I never stayed in once place. All of us boys have responded to Tate International’s success in different ways, but mine is to see the world and move swiftly from one place to the next, never feeling satisfied because there was always more, more, more.
There’s never been a relationship to figure out, because there was always another place calling my name. But Sophie deserves better.
Everything hit me at once, and the thought of flying to London to clear my head was so appealing I went for it, without thinking.
As the car arrives at the London Tate resort, my stomach holds sludge. I did Sophie wrong and need to rectify it.
Chapter 26
