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I drowned in her.
I lost myself in her.
I wanted and wanted and—
The vision of Neri kissing me on Noah Beach shattered.
Nausea pooled in my stomach as Rhea sucked me harder.
I ought to be out of my fucking mind with delirium. The sensation of Rhea’s touch, the intoxication of her mouth...I’d never felt anything like it.
But...it paled in comparison to a forbidden kiss on a beach with a girl dripping in seawater. A girl giving me everything, all while knowing I couldn’t take it.
With a fleeting kiss to my lower belly, Rhea grabbed the condom resting by my hip. With a tear, the packet revealed a lemony scent and the slippery sight of rubber.
My father had taught me how they worked.
My friend’s mother—a nurse and keen to keep us sexually safe—gave us a bag of them when we were fourteen. We’d filled them with water, throwing them at each other, before taking a handful and not admitting that we’d sampled them on ourselves that night.
Rhea gave me a sexy smile and rolled the condom down my hard but quickly deflating length.
No matter what I did.
No matter how hard I tried.
My heart was with another, and my body refused to betray her.
Shit...
Her eyes caught mine with a worried inhale.
I gritted my teeth and cupped her cheek. “Rhea, I...”
I looked at her stunning breasts and dropped my hand from her cheek, over her chest, and down between her legs.
If I touched her, perhaps this nightmare could end.
Gritting my teeth, I lowered my fingers. I went to sink them inside her. She shifted a little, giving me access, revealing the glisten of her desire and the blatant invitation.
I touched her heat—
And I couldn’t fucking do it.
Jerking my hand away, I fell backward. “Kafami sikeyim.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and drowned beneath the sickness and regret I’d never be free from.
Rhea stopped rolling the condom on me.
With a sharp inhale, she jerked her legs up and hugged them, hiding her bareness. “If you didn’t want to sleep with me, why the hell did you agree to come back here?” Her words were harsh, but her voice echoed with embarrassment.
Absolute rage rolled through me.
I wanted to punch myself.
I wanted to jump out the window and break into pieces.
I wanted to trade my heart for another.
I wanted to never have met Nerida fucking Taylor.
