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Sitting up slowly, I glowered at my semi-hard cock and tossed the blankets over my lap, hiding my shame. “I’m so sorry, Rhea. It’s not you—”
“Oh, please. Save it.” Anger painted her cheeks as her hands balled. “You’re an asshole. A right prick of an asshole who doesn’t give a rat’s ass—”
“I’m in love with someone I can’t have,” I rushed. “I truly thought you could cure me...” I rubbed my hands over my face, unable to look at her. “I really, really hoped you could. Unfortunately, it seems as if I’m incurable.”
Her shoulders lost a little of their tightness as I forced myself to glance up. “You’re gorgeous and fun and nice. I’m the luckiest asshole in Australia to be here, in your bed, moments away from being with you, but...”
Silence fell thick between us before she murmured, “You can’t keep it up because I’m not her.”
I laughed coldly. “Appears that way.”
“Can I ask you something?”
I nodded, bracing myself for a condemning question.
“If you could’ve stayed hard, would you have fucked me? Would you have been with me, all while imagining I was her?”
I gave her the respect of truly thinking about her question, coming face-to-face with stark truth. “No. Even if my body wasn’t punishing me, I wouldn’t have been able to do that to you. It wouldn’t be fair to be with you when my heart is with another.”
“Who is she?”
I jerked.
That was exactly what Neri had asked in her last text.
Urgency to grab my shorts and fish my phone from them gripped me. I wanted to text her, talk to her, tell her in every fucking language that I was hers even though she could never be mine.
“Just someone I know.” I smiled sadly. “Someone I should never have met.”
“You don’t sound happy about loving her.”
I snorted. “I’m not. I wish I could stop. One day, I’ll have no choice but to stop.”
“Why?”
“Because she’ll fall for someone else.”
“But what if she’s fallen for you?”
I shook my head, more awful truth spilling free. “I’m pretty sure she already has.”
“Okay, Dad, but don’t get angry when I marry him.”
The echo of Neri’s conviction from when she was twelve fisted my heart. Did she still feel that conviction? Did she still believe that fantasy even though I could never technically get married here?
Rhea sucked in a breath. “Then what’s the problem?”
I smiled and swallowed back answers I could never tell her. “I hope you find someone who loves you and realises just how incredible you are, Rhea. I’m so sorry I turned out to be a disappointment.”
“Don’t do that.” She grimaced a little. “And you’re not a disappointment. Not really. I get it. I do. I tried to have a one-night stand a week after I broke up with Adrian, but I couldn’t go through with it. You don’t get to deflect, though. You can’t use flattery to avoid not answering. Why can’t you be with her?”
“To repeat a line that’s often used by others: it’s complicated.” I scooted toward the end of the bed. As subtly as I could, I pulled the condom off, fisted it, and tossed away the blanket. With a self-conscious breath, I stood and walked across her small studio to my discarded clothes.
Goosebumps broke out down my spine as she watched me dress.
“Complicated doesn’t mean it can’t be done,” she said quietly.
The weight of my phone and the spikiness of my shell settled my hammering heart as I zipped up my shorts and shrugged into my t-shirt. Slipping the unused condom into my pocket, wincing as it stuck to the same shell Neri had given me, I returned to Rhea, where she sat on the rumpled bed.
