AllFreeNovel
Share Us
All the familiar black dripping thoughts that usually filled my head were silent. I trembled and tingled, sparkling with energy so savage, so sharp, I couldn’t stand up straight.
I had so many things to say, yet I couldn’t remember a single one of them.
My eyes dropped to her glistening parted lips. I swallowed a groan. “Why? Tell me why.”
Tears shot to her eyes again, knowing exactly what I asked. Her delicate hands that’d petted whales and played with octopus slipped deliciously through my hair.
I shivered.
The curse of oversensitivity shot through me, centring in my cock.
I throbbed.
“Neri...I—”
“He wasn’t you, Aslan. No one will ever be you.” Her gaze locked on my mouth. It was as if she touched me there. I grew hot and tight, and I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, fighting my true nature. Doing my best to stay the boy she knew and not give in to the monster I’d been hiding from.
“He wasn’t you,” she breathed, standing on tiptoe, offering herself to me, pulling my head down, drugging me. “And I’m so sick of wanting you. So sick of not being honest.”
My mouth hovered over hers, so close, so near. Goosebumps scattered down my spine. My cock rippled with need. Restraining myself was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but it was also the most exhilarating.
To hover on that knife’s edge.
To be so close to taking what I’d always wanted, tempting fate, dabbling with destiny. Dragging out the moment until we were both breathless and cross-eyed and seconds away from exploding.
I nudged her nose with mine. “So...be honest.”
She laughed almost coldly, pulling away a little. “And if I am...what will you do? Will you run? Will you lie? Will you try to convince me it means nothing—”
“No.”
“Why should I believe you?”
I caught her stare. I cupped her jaw. “Because I’m done, Neri. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend you’re not it for me. I can’t lie that you aren’t my very fucking air while I’m drowning beneath everything else.”
I couldn’t stop myself, my confession tart and sour. “I’m lost. I only feel alive when I’m with you. I shouldn’t put that shit on you. I know that. I’m not being fair. I should work through my grief and fear without begging for your help. And I definitely shouldn’t make you responsible for my happiness. But...I can’t crawl out of the darkness without you. I feel nothing unless I’m with you. And...well, the honest truth is...I’ve been dying every fucking day seeing you with him.”
She stiffened. “Why didn’t you say anything—”
“This is me. Saying something.”
“Aslan, I—”
“I’m willing to try, Neri. I have no choice. I can’t survive without you. I want to be happy. I want to be free of my grief. I want to be with you without being terrified of losing you.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m yours, Aslan.” She repeated what I’d said to her in the car. “Here. There. Everywhere.”
My forehead crashed on hers as my knees threatened to give out. “And that’s what petrifies me because if I’m deported. I...I won’t survive, Neri. And you’ll be alone. I’ll take your heart and leave you as broken as I am.”
“If you’re deported, I’ll come with you.”
True panic roared through me, just like on the beach when she was fifteen. “Vow to me that you will never do that. You will never step foot in Turkey or mention my name—”
“Why? What are you hiding?”
“Promise me.”
She scowled. “I can’t promise that. I can’t promise I won’t follow you because I know I always will.”
