AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I froze, my thoughts colliding.
My fear of his reaction came from him thinking I defiled his daughter, when every touch affirmed that I was hers in every way. I was a slave to her every desire and wish. A protector to her every terror and tragedy. A partner to her every hope and dream.
If he could see how much I cared. If he knew how much I would always fucking care, then he’d have no choice but to see past my shame and forget any concept that I’d stolen her for selfish reasons.
Propose.
I could propose to her, right in front of her parents. I could show them how much I loved their daughter, show them how much she owned me, body and soul, and let a ring speak far louder than words ever could.
But you can’t marry her...not really. Not here.
My shoulders deflated, and I wedged my elbows on my knees, cradling my head. By showing Jack and Anna the depth of how deeply I needed Neri, I put them all in a terrible situation. In a declaration of love, I’d be binding Neri’s fate to mine, ensuring she’d be the one interrogated for harbouring a refugee if I was ever caught. She’d be the one dragged through paperwork and fines and...fuck, I can’t do that.
I could never take more from the Taylors than I already had.
My heart cracked and fissured down the middle.
So...where does that leave me then?
An awful whisper wriggled through my head. A whisper I wanted to tear into shreds before it could say...
Leave.
I groaned and pressed my knuckles against my eyes.
If I was honourable—if I wanted to do right by Neri...I would stop putting her in harm’s way and—
“Aslan?”
My head shot up. Black stars exploded over my eyes from pressing my knuckles so hard into them. “Neri. What...?” I shook my head, willing my vision to settle. “What are you doing in here? I thought we said—”
“I told Mum and Dad that I wanted to practice my breathwork in the pool. I have water withdrawals.” She wrinkled her nose. “They’ve been overprotective of me tonight after someone, not saying who, but someone said I had a tummy upset and that’s why I stayed in the bathroom most of the day on The Fluke.”
“It was better than telling them the truth.”
“Was it?” She hugged herself, dragging my gaze down her pink beach-towel wrapped body. The strings of her silver bikini snaked around her elegant neck. “If we were just honest with them, we wouldn’t have to sneak around. I wouldn’t have to make up excuses about why I’m in the garden at nine p.m. visiting you. I wouldn’t have to bite my tongue at the dinner table when I want to tell you how much I adore you. I wouldn’t have to wonder that you’re hiding us from them because you keep thinking it will end eventually, and if they don’t know what happened right beneath their very noses, then you’ll be able to continue working for them and living in their garden, even if you decide to break up with me.”
“Fuck, Nerida.” Leaping off my bed, I shot across the small space and yanked her into my embrace. “That’s what keeps you up at night?” I chuckled, thinking of how different our thoughts were. I feared trapping her with all my instability. And she feared me breaking up with her...
I stiffened as the whisper that’d broken my heart came again.
You should leave.
You should break up with her.
To keep her safe.
My arms banded excruciatingly hard around her.
Never.
That was as impossible as suddenly breathing seawater.
And yet...
The entire reason I didn’t want to be with her was because I didn’t want the bone-deep knowledge that no matter how much I cherished her, I was the one person on this planet that could hurt her the most.
I could tear out the heart she’d so freely given me.
