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The alcoholic dullness that I’d been searching for hadn’t arrived. But I’d kept drinking...I’d drunk more in one go than I ever had before, mainly thanks to Jack plying me with three in the pool when he’d come to join me. We’d sat on a rock and dangled our feet in the cool water, discussing his plans for next year’s research projects and how he wanted to go back to Southeast Asia.
“Yeah, I think he was surprised that I didn’t pilfer something like I usually do. Probably wanted to reward my good behaviour.”
“I think he was gutted that you didn’t steal a gift, actually. It’s practically a tradition that you’ll swipe at least one before dinner.”
Neri shrugged half-heartedly. “I’m almost eighteen. Little too old for gifts.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
She scowled. “Keep your voice down.”
“He asked me earlier if you were okay,” I murmured quietly.
“He did?” She paused with her pen hovering over a moon-gleaming dolphin. “What did he say?”
“He said he’s sensed you’ve been off ever since you went to Zara’s. He asked me if I knew anything.”
She turned into a glacier, her eyes ice chips. “What did you say?”
“Nothing of course. I vowed to you that I wouldn’t tell. It’s not my place.”
“Do you think he suspects?”
“I think he’s just sad that you’re not your usual self.” I finished my beer and leaned forward, whispering in her ear, “I’m sad you’re not your usual self. I wish...I wish—” Grief grabbed me around the throat.
Fuck, I couldn’t lose her.
What if I lost her tonight?
What if, by trying to claim her, I lost her for-fucking-ever?
A moan escaped me, and I dropped my forehead to her flower-printed shoulder. “Neri, I—”
“Who’s ready for dessert before dinner?” Anna laughed, leaping through the sliders with a platter full of handmade éclairs.
Neri stiffened.
I ripped my head up, shifting my chair a little farther away from her. I couldn’t tame my skittering pulse. I’d been so close to kissing her arm. So, so close to forgetting I couldn’t touch her when every part of me begged to erase the awful, sickening distance between us.
Jack exploded out of the house, landing next to Anna, his hands up and a huge grin on his face. “Me. Me. They’re all for me. Mine.” Snatching the tray from his wife, he dropped his head to the closest éclair, taking a massive bite like a starving animal. He groaned. Loudly. “Hmmm! Soooo good.”
Seemed I wasn’t the only one who’d had a few beers. Only difference was, Jack got silly, and I got depressed.
Anna snickered and wiped away the chocolate and cream smeared on his nose. “What on earth am I going to do with you?”
“Same thing you do every day, my darling.” Jack laughed. “Put up with me and love me even more for my nonsense.”
Anna rolled her eyes.
Neri forced a smile.
And Jack looked at me and froze.
What?
What had I done?
What had he seen?
