AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I blame myself. I blame all of this on me.”
“Aslan, stop it—”
“I’m offering myself up to you to use in whatever way you need.”
“What I need is for you to stop being an idiot. You never come into my room when Mum and Dad are in the house. What’s gotten into you?”
“What’s gotten into me?” I growled. “I just fucking told you, askim! You got into me. You. You’ve torn apart any hope I had that you’ll be okay. You’re hurting yourself, Neri. You hid in that bathroom and hurt yourself. What part of ‘I can’t fucking breathe seeing you in pain’ do you not understand?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to rein in my temper.
I exhaled hard, grunting under my breath, “How did you do it?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
I looked up beneath my lashes, dropping my hand. “Of course, it matters. It matters a great deal.”
“It’s done. And...it didn’t work anyway, so you don’t have to fear me doing it again. I still feel...messed up.”
“I know how you can let that mess out.”
“Not this again.” She bared her teeth. “Those beers you’ve had are making you reckless. Let’s just get through the rest of tonight and—”
“I’m not fucking proposing to you in front of your parents while your wrists are welted, Neri. You need to let go. Let it out. Get angry.”
“I can’t be angry. Mum and Dad will hear.”
“Don’t use that as an excuse. You’re hiding still. Hiding beneath everything you can. That stops. Right fucking now.” I balled my hands. “I can’t stand seeing you so sad. I can’t stand feeling so helpless. And I think...I think that’s your problem too.”
She scowled. “My problem?”
“You feel helpless.”
“No, I don’t—”
“For the first time in your life, someone overpowered you, threatened you, and took something that wasn’t theirs to take. It slapped you in the face. It forced you to see that you aren’t invincible, and now you feel utterly helpless.”
“Stop putting words in my mouth.”
I stepped into her, wedging my leg between hers, pressing my knee against the door. I never took my eyes off hers as I pushed up, rocking my thigh against the part of her that I’d tasted, kissed, worshipped, and adored. “If he was here right now. If it was his leg between yours, what would you do?”
Her entire body flinched. “Stop it. I don’t want to think about that.”
“You think about it all the time.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Your nightmares say otherwise.” I drove my thigh higher, making her breath catch. “Tell me what he does to you in your nightmares. Does he pin you down? Does he tie you tight? Does he fuck you—”
“Stop!” She shoved me hard.
I absorbed the strike but didn’t move.
Instead, I crushed her harder against the door.
My hands landed on either side of her head, planting on the wood, imprisoning her. The tinkling pieces of my well and truly brutalised heart fell into my toes as I whispered in her ear, “You don’t want to relive it, but it’s the only thing you see. It won’t stop until you accept it or...”
She breathed fast as I pulled away a little, looking into her eyes, needing her to see what I was willing to do.
“Or what?” she whispered.
