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For now, maybe. But it only takes one bump in the road to send her life into another tailspin. “What will you do without my free babysitting?”
“I have friends that will help me.”
Her friends are the same ones who drag her out at two in the morning and spend most of their lives high. I don’t consider them viable options for Jace. “What if you came with me?”
She gives me a horrified look. “Hell, no.”
“Wait, now listen.” I sit up on the edge of the couch and turn off the television. “Look. I’m going to be making really good money. They have great schools in Chicago. Jace could go anywhere. And—”
“And me?” Ellie’s still looking at me like I’m insane. “What’ll I do?”
“You can do anything! The city’s a hundred times the size of Portland. You can do—”
“That’s just the thing,” she says, hugging herself. “It’s too big. A city like that would swallow me.”
I stare at her. A city like that would swallow me.
I know what she means. Ellie has been through a lot. I’ve seen her, swallowed and spit out, every time, a little weaker. I don’t know if she can handle the trauma, if it happens much more.
I want Jace to have it all. And yes, I can give many things to him with that job. But one thing I can’t give him? A mother who is well enough to take care of him. And he needs that, most of all.
She pulls open the door. “There’s my ride.” Stepping out, she looks back at me. “Don’t make me.”
And she slams the door shut.
I could make her. But I wouldn’t. No job is worth what it might do to our family.
37
I have plenty of time to stop and look around now.
Unemployment is the weirdest thing. For the first few hours of it, I wallowed in desperation. Then I looked around and realized how much I could get done, now that I didn’t have to work. I unpacked all those boxes, cleaned every room in the house from top to bottom, and even alphabetized my entire bookshelf.
Now that all that is done, I’m back to desperation.
Not only is my bank account not going to last out the month and the unemployment website is giving me trouble, but I’ve been scrolling through online job boards for an hour and haven’t seen so much as a single attorney job, in the entire state.
I need some cheering up. So I climb into bed, grab my phone, and dial my mom. “Hi, mom. How’s life in East Bay?”
“Oh, it’s great, honey. So relaxing.”
My mom deserves that rest, after everything she’s been through. I suppose it’s her reward, living in semi-retirement, in an oceanside community where everybody knows everybody else. Every time I see her, now, she’s practically glowing. There, she feels needed.
I can’t say I would feel the same. That’s where a person goes at the end of their career. Not when it’s just beginning. “Good. How is everything?”
“Good. Are you coming to tell me you’re taking time off to visit this summer?”
“Oh, I wish.”
It’s not that I don’t like East Bay. She moved there when I was in law school because the town’s only attorney was retiring and they needed someone local. Before she passed away, Ruth had recommended her for the job. East Bay is an island of just over 1,500 people, off the coast of Maine. It’s pretty far north, close to Canada, so it might as well be in another universe. The drive is four hours but the ferry only goes that way randomly.
“You’re not?” She sounds sad. “Work still busy?”
“Actually… work isn’t busy at all. Foster & Foster shuttered.”
She gasps. “What happened?”
“Some partners stole money from the firm, and it had to close,” I explain quickly. “So I think I’m going to be spending the next few weeks, scouring for jobs.”
“You can do that from here,” she offers. “Or better yet, why don’t you work with me?”
I laugh. She’s got to be kidding. My mother is my best friend, but we’re both ridiculously headstrong and always lock horns. I could just imagine the bickering, being heard all over that quiet seaside down. They’d probably force us out. “Mom, I don’t think East Bay really needs two attorneys. They probably barely need the one.”
She sighs. “I guess you’re right about that. But of course you’ll find another job down there.”
Something else has been pressing on my heart lately. Maybe it’s the abundance of free time. If anyone will understand it, it’s my mother. “I was thinking…”
“Oh, dear. You sound worried. Do you need money, honey? Is that the problem?”
“No, I’ve been putting money in my retirement account like you showed me. So I have a little in there. And I was thinking, this might be crazy, but… what if I cashed that out and started my own women’s center, here in Sapphire Shores?”
