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My mind looped back to Janet’s words.Love is worth it.
Was it really?
ChapterTwenty-Seven
FARRAH
I told myself I was going to talk with Cooper. I wanted to backpedal somehow. I talked myself right out of it, my cynical side pointing out,You’ve already had this conversation. He doesn’t want anything more, and neither do you.
That side of me, usually so pushy, wasn’t much of a match for my heart. When I saw Cooper’s door cracked open when I got home and Humpty seated on the windowsill at the end of the hallway, my heart soared.
Cooper must’ve heard my footsteps because the door swung open farther. He stood in the doorway with one hand resting high on the doorframe and his dark eyes raking over me before catching mine in an electrifying, fiery gaze.
I told myself it was just sex when we began kissing and spun into his apartment. He bent me over the counter to sink into me from behind, sending me flying with his fingers.
When we fell asleep in my bed later and I woke with Humpty purring from where he was tucked between our feet, I told myself this was all it had to be.
The following morning when Cooper made coffee before I left for work, I decided I needed to reestablish some boundaries. I suppose for myself more than anything. Because I liked Cooper. Too much.Waaaayyyytoo much. All of it—the crazy-hot sex, the waking up with him, how I felt protected and safe with him, the craving for something like this all the time.
When Humpty trotted out to the hallway to survey the view from the hallway window, I braced myself. “So,” I began. My blunt self, the part of me that easily deflected men who wanted more than one night, kicked into gear. “We’ve kind of slipped into a pattern.”
When Cooper glanced up, his gaze was careful as he nodded. I added, “I just thought maybe I should clarify I don’t want more.”
Cooper had lifted his mug to take a swallow of coffee. His hand hovered in the air before he lowered the cup to the counter. His grip tightened on the handle, just slightly. After a beat, he nodded. “Okay. Thanks for the clarification, I guess.”
My cheeks were hot, and I felt uncomfortable and awkward. I took a gulp of my own coffee. “How did the visit go with your ex?”
Now, why the hell did I go and ask that?
Cooper’s eyes narrowed. This time he did take a swallow of coffee, his movement controlled and smooth. “Cindy didn’t stay. I had no idea she was planning to show up like that. I took her back to the airport the same day she arrived. Why does that matter?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure why I said anything.”
Cooper was quiet for a few beats before adding, “Her showing up was just a reminder of why I don’t want anything more either.”
I didn’t think he meant to hurt me, but his comment stung. It wasn’t as if I could hold it against him. I was the one who’d insisted on reiterating my own stance, clarifying the boundaries we’d established before.
I blinked quickly. “I understand. I hope you know I wouldn’t ever do what she did. Screwing around on someone with their friend is really fucking shitty.”
“I wasn’t implying you would ever do that. Just clarifying, like you did.”
We stared at each other. Even though neither of us raised our voice and everything seemed calm on the surface, my heart banged against my ribs, and I felt a little sick. I wanted to cry. I’d never explained to Cooper why I didn’t do relationships. I didn’teverexplain that to anyone. Yet I knew he had heard that comment I made to my mother. I hated that he’d heard anything. I hated my own defensiveness. I hated how that knowledge was a little bomb about to go off, an ugly truth I never wanted to discuss. I didn’t have it in me to discuss it.
I took a shaky breath. “I’m glad we cleared that up.”
“There was nothing to clear up,” he replied.
* * *
Halfway through work the next day, just after wrangling a wildly dramatic husky while we drew blood, I got a text from Cooper.
Cooper:Hey, we’re going out for a fire. We’ll probably be gone at least a week. Can you take care of Humpty for me? Sorry for the short notice.
Me:Of course! I’ll make sure he’s all set. Be safe.
My thumbs hovered over my screen. I wanted to add, “I’ll miss you.”
I didn’t.
