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Cooper’s eyes held mine as he nodded slowly. “Of course. I heard you say something to your mom about your stepdad throwing a cupcake against the wall on your birthday.”
I cleared my throat, swallowing through the knot of pain that rose swiftly. “Yeah. Gerald was my stepfather. My father died when I was three. I don’t remember him. My mom married Gerald when I was in first grade. He was nice at first, but it didn’t last. He was awful. I hated him. He was mostly abusive to my mother.” I took an unsteady breath, grateful that Cooper stayed quiet and patiently waited for me to explain. “When I was in college, I took a course in psychology, and they talked about domestic violence. And, I swear, it was like they were describing Gerald in the textbook. He isolated my mom from her friends and my grandparents, but it wasn’t blatant. It just happened. It was just the three of us. Most of the time, he wasn’t violent. It was just sometimes, just enough to keep both of us on edge and constantly wondering when he was going to explode. The day that you heard me talking about with my mom, that was the birthday when I turned ten. We didn’t have a lot of money. Not because Gerald didn’t have money but because he controlled it all. He was a lawyer. His whole family was lawyers, or that’s what it seemed like to me. My mom worked, and all of her money went into his bank account. She had to check with him about the budget and everything. It was crazy or, at least, it felt crazy. I promised myself I would never fall in love because it wasn’t worth it. Gerald was nice to my mother at first. Whenever I think back to when he first started dating her, it’s hard to square with the man he really was. He would bring her flowers and stuff. He was handsome. He totally wooed her. It was a whirlwind. I don’t know the exact timeframe. I’d have to ask my mom. But it felt really fast. They started dating, and then they were married within maybe a few months. We moved into his house and that was it. My mom and I had been really close before that. We haven’t had the best relationship for years. We’re trying right now, but it’s not easy. After Gerald died, my mom’s friend up here offered her the chance to come stay with her. She wanted to move. I think she wanted a fresh start because she had no friends where we were from. None at all. I decided a fresh start would be good for me too.” I paused, lifting my hands and letting them fall. “So there you have it. I think my dad wasn’t like Gerald, but I don’t remember him. My father’s parents passed away, and I didn’t see them after my mom married Gerald.”
I managed to recite all of this calmly, but I hadn’t been able to maintain eye contact with Cooper. I finally gathered up the nerve to risk a glance in his direction. I wasn’t sure how to read his expression. Careful, maybe.
“Cooper?” I prompted.
“Your stepdad was a fucking asshole,” he said. I’d never seen Cooper angry, but right this second, he looked furious. His jaw was set in a hard line, and his eyes were flashing fire. Yet he was completely controlled.
I paused, mentally scanning my body. Because of Gerald and all my mother and I went through with him, anger tended to make me anxious, bordering on fearful. I held Cooper’s gaze, waiting for the familiar anxiety to start churning inside. It didn’t. I didn’t fear him at all.
I took a shaky breath, feeling a strange sense of relief at laying out the bare truth of that part of my life. “I know he was a fucking asshole. For a long time, I was mad at my mom for not protecting us, for not leaving him. I knew he used to threaten her that he would kill her or himself if she left. I learned afterward he also threatened that he would win custody of me in court. Since he was a lawyer, and his family had money, she believed him. She felt stuck. Then he died. You know that scar you asked me about on my back?” My heart started pounding faster. I’d almost never talked about this part of the story. My mom knew, and I had once told my therapist, the one I saw after I turned eighteen. She told me if I’d been a child, she would’ve had to report it.
Cooper nodded very slowly.
On the heels of a deep breath, I continued, “That was one of the few times he got violent with me. I was fifteen then and was angry with him all the time. I started to talk back, and I didn’t really understand how dangerous that was, not just for me, but for us, for my mom. Gerald didn’t want me to do something with a friend. Everything had to go through him. He wouldn’t give me the money for movie tickets. I started to argue about it, and he pushed me, really hard. I fell into a chair and a vase fell off the table beside it. I fell on my side where the glass from the vase shattered, and I had to go get stitches. I was a crying mess, and I wanted to tell the doctors what really happened, but I didn’t. I told them I fell. They even brought in the police and some interviewer. I just kept saying that I fell, which was true. It’s just that Gerald’s the one who pushed me.”
I happened to glance down and saw that Cooper’s hand was curled into a tight fist on his thigh. Reflexively, I reached over, my hand landing on his forearm. “It’s over. He’s dead,” I said.
Cooper’s gaze lifted to mine. I watched as he took a slow breath, his shoulders rising with it. When he let his breath out, I could feel the tension easing in his body. “I know he’s gone, but what he did is still not okay. It never will be.”
I felt a surge of something inside. I didn’t know how to describe it. A rush of emotion and gratitude and fierce relief. While I could still feel Cooper’s anger at my stepfather, there was no sense of him being out of control. Not even a little.
“How are you and your mom now?” he asked.
I took a quick breath, letting it out with a sigh as I shrugged. “We’re okay. I love her. I just didn’t understand when I was younger. I thought I was being protective when I started arguing back with Gerald, but it only made it worse for her. She’s never said a word to me about that, but I can see it now. It sucks that people like that can ruin lives, you know. We’re just taking it a bit at a time and trying to build a better relationship. I’m glad she’s safe now. She’s with her friend. She’s reconnected with my grandparents. She’s even visiting them for the first time in a really long time.”
Cooper studied me quietly, the intensity in his eyes sending my heart into a twist in my chest. “I’m so sorry.” He lifted a hand to reach over and lightly trail his fingers along the side of my cheek and down over my shoulder. “I realize this might not mean anything, but I’ve never been violent. With anyone. I would never hurt you.”
My chest felt tight, and tears stung my eyes as I held his gaze. “I know,” I whispered. “I don’t know how I know, but I know.”
“I love you,” he said solemnly. “If I could change what happened to your mom and you, I would in a heartbeat.”
I blinked away my tears. “I know you would. And I love you.” I swallowed and tried to lighten the moment. “Even thoughthatwas never supposed to happen.” I leaned forward and quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek. When I leaned back, I asked, “And what about you? When this all started, I thought we were on the same page. You know? That page where neither one of us wanted romance or anything like that. I know a little bit, I know that Cindy cheated on you with your friend, but tell me the whole story.”
ChapterThirty-Three
COOPER
Farrah looked at me, her eyes warm and soft. I felt a rush of emotion. Aside from knowing that I loved her and finally coming to this point with us, telling the story seemed easy because it was her.
I summarized the whole thing—my dad dying, my parents having a really good marriage and feeling blessed, and then feeling so bitter and betrayed after what happened with Cindy.
“And I know I’m lucky,” I said. “My parents had a good marriage. I was so devastated when my dad died.” I shrugged. “Now, of course, Cindy feels awful about everything that happened. Things didn’t work out for her and Dan, I guess.” I shook my head slightly. “I imagine it doesn’t feel good for her to have everybody know what happened. You can’t keep a secret like that in Stolen Hearts Valley. That town is as small as Willow Brook.”
Farrah nodded. “She came to visit when your mom was here, thinking maybe that would be the time to try again with you?”
“I think so. I’m still not sure why she thought there would ever be a chance.”
“You didn’t deserve that,” Farrah said, her green eyes flashing fire.
“Nobody would’ve. Just like you and your mom didn’t deserve the way your stepdad treated you. I don’t think what I went through is even close to that.”
She studied me thoughtfully. “You can’t compare life experiences. Sure, violence and the trauma it leaves in its wake aren’t the same as someone cheating, but that kind of betrayal—being betrayed by someone with a friend—that’s next level, and not in a good way. It’s different. I guess in the aftermath, we all just try to trust again.”
ChapterThirty-Four
FARRAH
