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I blinked away my tears, wiping my cheeks with the heels of my palms. “I know he is.”
“Maybe you have to be brave,” Tiffany offered.
I looked at my two friends. “You’re both just saying this because you’re in love,” I muttered.
“So what if we are?” Alice pressed. “News flash: so are you.”
* * *
I was nervous when I crested the top of the stairs and turned into the hallway. My eyes landed on Cooper’s door before bouncing to mine. I wondered if he had gone back to his apartment. I was tiptoeing, which was ridiculous.
When I heard the muted sound of the television coming from my apartment, butterflies spun in my belly, the nervous kind. I tapped lightly on the door before I opened it, peering around to see Cooper sitting on the couch with Humpty on the cushions by his shoulders.
Cooper glanced over. “Hey there.” His voice sounded a little stronger but still hoarse.
“Hey.” I stepped into my apartment, closing the door behind me. After leaving my coat, shoes, and purse by the door, I approached the couch, nervously rubbing the hem of my shirt between my fingers. My heart was pounding too hard and fast. “You look a little better,” I observed.
He did look better. His color was looking close to normal. He must’ve showered because his hair was still damp. I was so relieved to see him, so relieved he was home that I wanted to simply bask in his presence.
His eyes held mine. “I do feel better. I’m not one-hundred percent, but thanks to you, I think I’m a lot further along than I would’ve been if you hadn’t come and gotten me. You make some seriously good chicken and dumplings by the way.”
When his lips curled at the corners, my belly flipped and my heart started kicking harder. “I’m glad you had something to eat.”
I rounded the loveseat to sit down in the corner opposite him. I hadn’t planned this, and in all honesty, I wasn’t even sure I had the courage to tell him the truth. Before I could overthink it any more than I already had, my words stumbled out. “I’m sorry I made things weird before you left, and I’m sorry I’m about to make things even weirder. I love you, and I didn’t mean to. I’m not—” I shook my head quickly. “I-I… Ugh.” I dropped my face into my hands, feeling heat rise in my cheeks as I took a shaky breath. I marshaled my nerves, lifting my gaze to him. I thought he might look horrified, or panicked, or I didn’t even know what.
I expected just about anything but the warm understanding I saw in his eyes. With a sigh, I sagged into the cushions. I took another breath, twisting my hands together. “I…” I tried again before sputtering out.
“Can I say something?” he interjected.
Relieved, I nodded.
He held my gaze without once looking away. “I didn’t plan on it, but I love you too. And, I’m not sure what that means for us, or what you want, but maybe we could try to see where this goes.”
Emotions clamored inside me—joy, hope, a fierce rush of love, all of it tangled within a sense of fragility. This, this feeling, felt as fragile as a snowflake as if just drifting to the ground would break it apart.
I stared at him and blinked quickly. I wasnotgoing to break down in front of this man. Before I could do or say anything else, Cooper pulled me into his arms.
“Hey, come here,” he said, his tone warm and comforting.
I buried my head in his chest and burst into tears. It was a big, noisy cry. Because this was all too much. I loved him, I’d had too much time of missing him, and now he was back and he was sick, and I just wanted it all to be okay.
Cooper simply held me, seeming completely at ease with my messy burst of tears.
My tears ran out quickly. It felt like a storm clearing the air, leaving it scoured clean. I took several shaky breaths, my head still buried in his chest. He smelled good. Clean and crisp, like Cooper.
I eventually scrambled up the nerve to look at him, mortified that I’d just cried like that in front of him. When I lifted my eyes to his, he didn’t look horrified. He just looked a little worried, but solid and steady.
“I’m sorry!” I blurted out.
He brushed my hair away from my cheeks, smoothing it back. “There’s nothing to apologize for. Can you tell me why you weren’t supposed to fall in love with anyone?” he asked gently.
My chest tightened, and a familiar sense of dread twisted in my stomach. Because whenever my stepfather came up, that was how I felt. I took a slow breath, and the tension spinning inside loosened just the tiniest bit. I needed to be honest as much for myself as for him.
“Do you remember that morning at the coffee shop?” I leaned back on the couch slightly. I couldn’t be too close to anyone for this conversation.
ChapterThirty-Two
FARRAH
