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“That gives you one more day,” I said.
“One more day for what?”
“To decide what you want.”
I couldn’t be logical about her, not anymore.
ChapterSixteen
QUINN
Resting my elbows on the railing, I looked out over the ocean. A light breeze ruffled the water, and the sun was high in the clear blue sky. It was a beautiful day and freezing cold. There was winter in Alaska—or technically pending winter as we hadn’t yet reached winter solstice—and then there was winter when you were out on the ocean. It was bracingly cold, and I shivered as I straightened and tucked my hands into the pocket of my down jacket.
“Should we place bets?” Kenan’s voice reached me.
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him approaching from the covered area of the ferry. This wasn’t our first ferry trip together. I couldn’t recall exactly when, but before his father had died, our families had taken a few trips together on the ferry. One trip was to Kodiak Island, where we saw the massive famed Kodiak brown bears. Back then, Kenan had teased me when my mouth dropped open at the size of the bears, even from a distance.
Over the years, we’d casually kept a tally of what wildlife we might see. Moose weren’t included because they were far too common in Alaska. Ferry trips weren’t so common. I wasn’t even sure I’d taken one with him since we were adults.
“Seagull?” I teased as he stopped beside me.
On cue, a seagull called raucously nearby. Kenan and I turned and glanced behind us, watching as the ferry pulled farther away from Fireweed Harbor. Our cute hometown was becoming distant. We could see the boats bobbing in the harbor and the streets winding up along the hillside into the foothills of the mountains.
I turned forward again, looking ahead. The ferry would stay within view of the shoreline for the first part of this trip. We stopped in Haines before the ferry would approach Southcentral Alaska, where we would dock in Whittier. McKenna had sent Kenan and me a joint email with the itinerary. She had rented us a car there.
With a number of employees from Fireweed Industries, primarily the winery, coming to this opening, she had reserved a block of rooms at a local lodge in Willow Brook where we would all be staying. Kenan and I had rooms side by side. I’d resisted the urge to ask Tish to move my room away from his because that would only send up the smoke signal of gossip about us.
“We might see a humpback,” he commented. “And orcas. And what are those little porpoises, the fastest ones in the world?” he prompted.
“Dall’s porpoises,” I replied.
“Oh, right. I’m sure we’ll also see some seals and otters when we dock in Haines. I’d love to see some sea lions basking in the sun. How about a salmon shark?” he asked.
“We could see some Sitka deer in the foothills. Do we count those?” I asked.
“Absolutely. Only moose are off-limits. There are just too many of them,” Kenan said firmly.
My lips curled into a smile. We were teasing, but this felt like our usual easy interactions. My heart gave a tricky beat in my chest, stumbling and almost tripping. When I glanced up at him, my belly felt funny, and tingles radiated outward. I knew he’d been teasing a little the other day when he told me I had until this trip to decide what I wanted with us. I knew I could tell him I didn’t know, and he would respect that.
Yet I wanted him. No matter how crazy it was—how stupid, foolish, reckless, and more—I also knew I wanted to see where things could go for us.
Feathering along the edges of my thoughts whenever I contemplated this, which was just about every spare moment I had, was the reality that I had an appointment coming up soon and was planning to start treatments for IVF.
I hadn’t told anyone about this—other than my doctor, of course. I told myself it was no one’s business. My mother was fretting and wanted grandchildren. With my older brother living out of town, she had her hopes pinned on me to be the one who would give her the chance to do lots of doting opportunities for the imagined babies.
My brother was an engineer in Diamond Creek, Alaska. He had taken a position as a consultant for the Fireweed Industries venture in Willow Brook, although he would remain in Diamond Creek, because he loved it there.
Meanwhile, my mother was worried because she feared she would never have any grandchildren. I didn’t even know how she would feel if I told her my plans around IVF. I hoped she would be thrilled, but I didn’t want to let her down if it didn’t work out.
“Quinn?” Kenan prompted.
I glanced up. “Yeah?”
“What are you thinking about?”
He nudged me with his elbow in a familiar gesture that usually meant he was teasing. It was nothing much. Yet every touch from him, even that glancing touch, sent my belly into a little flip.
I shrugged, not about to tell him I was thinking about IVF treatments. “Nothing.”
