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Toby smiled. “I think Sol knows what he’s doing.” He reached into the box and removed a spreader bar, still wrapped in plastic. “AndIknow what I’m going to do with this.”
Robert didn’t doubt that for a second.
The bunkhouse was empty, and Butch was grateful for the chance to be alone. It wouldn’t be long before the guests returned from the paddock, ready for their supper.
He lay on his bed, arms folded under his head. He needed a little time to process the thoughts swirling around in his mind.
Sol hasn’t even been here a day, and already I’m a mess.
Except he knew his present confusion had nothing to do with Sol, and everything to do with the lies he’d been telling himself—lies others had pointed out to him, more than once.
Why didn’t I listen?
Race had been right—hehadbeen deep in denial.
Teague had been right too, about a great many things. Butchwasinto guys. Hehadused Teague. He’d fucked guys because it felt good. And he was right about something else—they both deserved better.
Does that mean he’s right about kissing too?
Butch wasn’t going to put it to the test. Not yet, at any rate.
Sol had been right too. Butch wasn’t that naive.
I lied to him.
That had been one lie—Butch had been lying to himself for more than thirty years. But if he could admit he liked guys, then maybe it was time to bring an end to all the lies.
Then do something. Now. Before you change your mind.
He got up, grabbed his hat, and headed out of the door. From the paddock came voices, and judging by the laughter, it had been a good day. He took the long way round, not wanting them to see him. As he neared the barn, he caught the sound of yet more laughter from inside. Butch’s heart went into overdrive.
Toby’s in there. Fuck.
He didn’t need an audience. This had to be a private conversation. Then he expelled a breath when Toby exited the barn and walked toward the path to the house.
Thank God.
Butch went inside. Sol was taking photos, and Butch came to a dead stop at the sight. He’d only been away a few hours, and the room had been transformed. The cabinets doors were open to reveal their contents, and Butch wanted to take a better look, but it would have to wait.
He was a man on a mission.
Sol lowered his camera. “Hey. What do you think?”
“Can we talk?” Butch blurted.
“Sure. Why so serious?” He placed the camera on a shelf in one of the cabinets.
Butch walked over to a flat black bench and sat on it. “I… I haven’t been honest with you.”
“About what?” Sol walked over to stand in front of him.
“Before, when we were putting the sling together… I knew what it was. I even know what rimming is, not that I’ve ever tried it.”
“Then why—”
“I wasn’t gonna tell ya I watched gay porn, okay?”
Sol frowned. “Why not? You’ve told me you’re bi, so what’s wrong with watching gay porn?”
