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I remember touches that brushed against me and lingering looks. I remember hidden smiles and stolen secrets.
The other night as Bennett was holding me in his arms, both of us still panting after he made me float along our pleasure, he whispered, “Do you remember when I found you in the backyard not long after Christmas?” I turned and looked at my man, soaking up the sweet smile on his face as he stared up at the ceiling. “You were so excited to try out the telescope Jerry had gotten you.”
I chuckled softly, “I was a big nerd, but astronomy wasn’t something I knew a lot about. I wanted to change that even though I was clueless. It’s why I asked for the telescope.”
He looked at me and kissed my forehead. “You were adorable,” he murmured against my skin. He started to run his fingers through my hair as he relaxed back. “You were practically jumping up and down as you tried to look through the eyepiece.” He shook his head, a wry smile tipping his lips. “I thought for sure you were going to give yourself a black eye.”
I burrowed into his body, soaking up his heat and the sweet memory we were reliving. “I might have, but then you were there. I was so nervous because you avoided me so much and we didn’t spend a lot of time alone together.”
Sadness washed over his face, but then he shook his head and it dissipated. “I didn’t trust myself, little feather.” His moss-gray eyes met mine and I could see the truth there. “But that night, I couldn’t resist you and your infectious enthusiasm.”
“You asked me about the stars, and I told you what I knew, which wasn’t much, and pointed out a few stars and constellations.”
“You talked with such passion. I remember being in awe of you,” he admitted. “I never felt that much passion about anything, but you seemed to have it in spades. I wanted to soak up just a little bit of it.”
I moved slightly and propped myself up, my head resting on my hand. “You have passion now, Bennett,” I told him honestly. “The way you talk about your work, your brothers,” I made a sweeping gesture with my free hand before resting it across his very toned—and distracting—abdomen, “this club. It’s all passion when you talk about what you have now.”
“It would mean nothing without you here next to me.” His eyes bored into mine and I knew he was telling me his truth. They were the facts as he saw them without room to argue or dispute them. “All of it is for you, to be worthy of you, to have a family I can give you.”
I nodded and held the tears in my eyes back because his words, his want to give me everything, touched me deeply. To be given a family? To be given security? To be given something bigger than one person, bigger than I probably even knew? It was sweet in a way I always knew the boy I knew back then could be.
The last week has been filled with moments like that with Bennett and it makes me feel like I’m collecting pebbles, but when I put them together it’ll make something strong and solid.
Even though he’s been working a lot, he always makes time for me. It’s humbling and helps to erase my doubts and fear. It’s clear the brothers are stressed out about what has been happening. Which is why I’m looking forward to the party tonight before the private burial the club is having tomorrow for Sam. I hope everyone can blow off some steam tonight.
I’m looking forward to spending some time with Lennon and having a drink or two. I also got the okay to invite another one of my friends, Echo. She’s a reporter who did a story about home health care nurses and the role they play in the health care field. She had personal experience with home health nurses when her mom had a stroke and needed some extra care afterward.
When Echo interviewed me, we clicked. I had been back in Seattle a few months when I met her, and it was before I reconnected with Lennon. It was nice to make a new friend in the city where I wanted to tend the roots I already had while planting more.
With McKenzie planning on hanging out with us to give the brothers some time together, we’re calling it an impromptu girl’s night at the clubhouse. I’m looking forward to it. I look at myself in the mirror hanging on the inside of Bennett’s closet door and nod.
I’m wearing jeans that hug every one of my curves and some badass heeled leather boots. On top I’m wearing a slightly oversized DSMC shirt, but I cut it up a little and tied it in certain places so it’s tight across my breasts and shows a little skin at my shoulder and midriff.
I have my hair of beachy waves up in a high ponytail and I did not skimp on the makeup. I went full smokey eye, but in a dove gray instead of black and a bright red lip. I turn and check out my ass which has me thinking about the thong I’m wearing.
I hope Bennett enjoys peeling my jeans off later. I know he’s going to look at me and want to cart me off to his room. I won’t let him, he needs this time with his brothers, but I’m going to have a damn good time teasing him.
Who knows when they’ll get to the bottom of Sam’s death and there won’t be a threat looming over our heads? I’ll go back to my place and things between Bennett and me will change. It’ll slow down and that will be the true test of what we mean to each other.
Whenever I think about it happening in the future, a sense of dread knots my gut. I’m not looking forward to it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not necessary. If we’re meant to be, we’ll get through it and then find our footing in a real way—a way outside of a heightened situation when Bennett felt like he had no choice but to show his hand.
Since Bennett texted me to let me know he was going to be at work for a little while longer, I head down to the common room and take a step back when some of the brothers start to whistle and cat call the moment I come into view. I’ve had men do the same in New York, but that made me uncomfortable. This doesn’t because I know that they all respect Penance and are just hyping me up.
Even if it’s more for show than anything else, it still makes me feel damn good. I spin around slowly, and the cheering gets louder which has me laughing and covering my face with my hands. When someone tugs my hand away, I grin at Lennon who winks at me.
“See? These guys are good for the soul when you’re not trying to get anything from them.” Her eyes widen slightly and that’s when I look around the common room again. The angels are hanging out with a few brothers, and they certainly are dressed to impress, but there are women around who I’ve never seen before. “Yeah,” Lennon purses her lips in a disapproving mom look that has me grinning, “they’re the hang arounds. They aren’t angels. They just come to party, try to bang a biker, and then go back to their lives with bragging rights.”
I try not to show my distaste, but it’s not easy. I head over to the table where McKenzie is already sitting with a pitcher of what looks like margaritas in front of her. Just as I’m about to sit down, the front door opens and Echo walks in like she’s been in the clubhouse a million times before.
I hurry over to her and give her a hug which she readily returns. Her eyes roam around the room and she whispers, “Holy shit, Ev, you weren’t kidding about these men.”
I wiggle my eyebrows at her comically. “I know. I wouldn’t lie about something like that,” I deadpan, “that would be cruel.”
She grins at me as I lead her over to the lady’s table and introduce everyone. I feel a smug sense of satisfaction because everyone is getting along, and it warms my heart. Echo is a great person and I had wanted to get her together with Lennon before now. It just didn’t work out timing wise because Echo is usually hyper focused on a story, no matter what it is she’s reporting on.
Echo takes a drink of her margarita, her eyes roaming the men in the common room from over the rim of her glass before she teases me, “So which one of these men is yours?”
McKenzie leans closer to Echo and points over to Bronco, whose eyes are already on his old lady. Yeah, old lady, that needed a full explanation and an orgasm to process. I was offended at first, because rude, but then when Bennett explained it, I found it kind of sweet. When I asked McKenzie about it later, she handed me a motorcycle club romance and winked at me.
