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I am your sister, Ana. In all the ways that matter.
Ana crushed her into another hug, meeting Tyreste’s eyes over the top of Addy’s head.
She kissed Addy’s forehead as she pulled back.Can I speak to your brother alone?
Addy’s mouth pursed. Her eyes flicked to the side, narrowing.I know why you’ve come, and I can help. I want to help.
I really don’t want to involve you in this. Neither does your brother. We couldn’t bear pulling you into danger.
He said I could be here.
Ana looked at Tyreste for assistance.
“She helped me at Books,” he explained, glancing away.
“The cipher.” Ana sucked in through her teeth. What had she expected when she’d sent Addy to the shop? “Did you find anything?”
Tyreste nodded. “We did. Will you sit down, and we’ll walk you through it?”
She realized that even when he’d been looking at her, he hadn’t been lookingather. “You’re both making me nervous.”
Addy signed something behind her that she didn’t see. Tyreste shook his head and signed back,I should do this alone. We’ll come get you after.
Ana whipped around to read Addy’s response when a violent bout of nausea sent her crashing into the table. She took a chair with her to the floor.
Tyreste was at her side in an instant. He shoved the chair to the wall and cradled Ana’s head in his lap. “Talk to me, Ana.”
“It’s worse...” Ana panted. “When he’s trying to get in. It’s so much worse.” She nestled her face against Tyreste’s thigh and focused on breathing.
Tyreste’s hands left her for a moment. She couldn’t see the exchange between him and Addy, but she felt the air shift as their messages flew back and forth.
Boots thumped on the boards. A door opened and closed.
“I promised we’d come get her before we return to Fanghelm.” Tyreste brushed her hair off her face in gentle strokes. “You said it’s worse when he’s trying to get in. You mean who I think you mean?”
Ana nodded against his trousers. She wasn’t ready to open her eyes.
“But you also said ‘trying.’ You’re fighting him off, aren’t you? He can’t get in if you don’t let him.”
“I think... yes. If I focus on keeping him out, I can.” She rolled her head upward to look at him. “But I’m so tired. And... There’s something else I have to tell you, but I don’t know how to find the words.”
The solemn, loving look Tyreste wore as he cupped her face, caressing her cheek with this thumb, brought fresh terror to the surface. She had lost him before and could lose him again. She might lose him in that very moment.
“Use whatever words feel right.” He tried to smile. “Unless you’re planning to rush headlong into death again.”
“It’s not that,” she said quickly and sucked in a greedy breath. Mortain had gone silent, but she didn’t trust for a moment that he wasn’t waiting in the shadows of her mind, biding his return. “I swear to you, I thought I had done everything right, Tyr. I took all the right precautions, I never meant for this to happen, to do this to you, to saddle you with such a burden.”
“Don’t suffer by holding it in,” Tyreste said gently. He leaned down and kissed the corner of her teary eye. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”
“I tried to solve it before it even happened,” Ana said. She squeezed her eyes closed and rolled her face downward. “It’s why I was so vigilant with the grimizhna tea, drinking it almost every night.”
Tyreste’s hands stopped caressing her cheek. He stilled entirely, then started to withdraw.
Ana’s heart skipped in dread, and she lifted off of him and tried to scoot away. “I’m sorry, Tyreste. I truly am.”
His arm shot out to draw her in again. He pressed her to his chest. “Donotmisread my shock as horror, Ana,” he stated, giving her a soft but firm shake. “If you think I would evernotwant to raise a family with you, ifIhave ever led you to believe that’s not the life I’m fighting for... then shame on me. Shame on me.”
Ana looked up right as he tilted her chin to kiss her.
