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But the letters had brought Ana back to him. If they’d never landed in his hands, she would still be fighting her war alone.
He smiled at Addy.All right then. Let’s get started.
At dusk, Ana moved to the east window and turned her face toward the mountains.
She braced herself on the frame, too exhausted to stand without aid. Sweat rolled down her temples and disappeared into the bosom of her dress. Failure burned through her weary limbs from the hours and hours she’d spent searching books and scrolls and pamphlets, coming up withnothing.
Not a single thing.
She pressed her forehead to the cool pane, her breathing shallow, and watched the sky dance with flames of gold and red. They licked the stormy sky like wispy tendrils, becoming one with the turquoise-and-violet auroras.
Ana didn’t hear the door open, nor the steps drawing nearer. She didn’t notice Ludya at all until the vedhma wrapped a protective arm around her from the side and joined her in watching the observatory burn.
“It’s almost beautiful, isn’t it?” Ludya remarked. “Destruction often is.”
“It solves nothing, but... I couldn’t let it...” Fatigue took the rest of her words.
“I know.” Ludya ran her hand along Ana’s lower back. “I would have done the same, Anastazja.” Her hand came to a stop. “You didn’t find what you were looking for.”
Ana bowed her head and shook it.
“Perhaps Tyreste will have met with better fortune.” Ludya breathed deep. “But I did not come here to enjoy the final throes of the observatory with you.”
Ana rolled her face along the glass until she was looking at Ludya.
“I fear you are not in the right mind for such a revelation, but there is no better timing than now, when you are battling yourself on the proper strategy... on the energy you’re willing to give a fight you are afraid you cannot win.”
Ana shrugged and closed her eyes. “I never know what you’re trying to say.”
“Then let me speak plainly,” Ludya said. She leaned in and pressed her lips to Ana’s ear. “I know what exhausts you, and it is far more than the wickedness of a rogue sorcerer.”
Ana’s eyes opened.
Ludya spoke plainly.
Chapter26
The Life We’re Fighting For
Ana used the last of her vitality to become Nessa. She no longer had a koldyna to hide from, but she’d never in her life needed to disappear more. To be unseen by the world.
Villagers in the market turned their heads to look at the pretty girl, but they saw only what she wanted them to see, their minds sorting her with the other scenery. Some stalls were still decorated for the ill-fated Cider Festival, but most had been shuttered after the tragedy. Yet life went on for a village that was always one terrible storm—and one damaged storehouse—from starvation.
She couldn’t fool Mortain though. He knew her from within, and boy, was he determined she know it. He rattled the bars of her mind like an insolent child trying to gain their mother’s attention. On and on, pushing her queasiness to a peak. She stumbled into a boarded shop, retched, and pushed on.
Ludya had wanted to come. Grigor had wanted to come. She’d sworn to return soon, this time with Tyreste, a promise that barely sated either of them. It seemed that was what her life had devolved to, a system of coming and going and promising to return.
What she had to say to Tyreste, she had to say to him alone.
She didn’t bother knocking on the cabin door. He’d still be at Books, more than likely, and she looked forward to letting herself in, heating some cider, and closing her mind for a few precious moments of uninterrupted thought.
But Tyrestewashome. And he wasn’t alone.
Addy leaped from her chair and flew across the room, throwing herself into Ana’s arms. Ana closed her eyes and held her. The warmth of the younger girl, the closest she’d ever come to having a sister, pushed Ana’s tears forward.
Tyreste’s chair screeched. Ana opened her eyes and shook her head.
Volemthe,she signed to Addy, because she’d not told the girl she loved her before. There wasn’t time to address all of life’s regrets, but she could remedy that one.You are the sister I always wished I could have had.
