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“I haven’t even had a minute to process it,” I admitted.
“I can give you that. You don’t have to say anything right now. None of you do. Let’s just go home.”
Kian drove us back to Providence, but I didn’t move my fingers from Rebel’s belly.
We turned into my mom’s empty driveway, and Kian parked next to the spot where her car normally sat.
“She’s gone, isn’t she? For good, I mean.” The words were hard to force out, but I knew they were the truth.
“I’d run too, if I was going to be spending the rest of my life in jail for murder,” Rebel said quietly.
Kian just shook his head. “I never would have picked it. She loved Bart.”
“Too much,” I said gruffly. “Too fucking much. She should have just let him go.” I rubbed a weary hand over my face, trying to make sense of the jumble of confusion inside my head. “I need to go have a shower, I think. And sleep.”
I pulled away from the other three and let myself inside. I could feel their worried gazes on my back, but I needed a minute.
I couldn’t get out of my head. The thoughts swirled around like a tornado, dark and stormy and confusing. Caleb. My mom. Luca. The businesses I’d lost. The people I’d hurt and lost.
But as I stood beneath the spray of hot water, they all disintegrated until only one thought was left.
One that shook me to my core when I considered what it meant.
I snapped my head up when the bathroom door opened.
Rebel leaned on the doorframe, still dressed in blood and cement-spattered clothes, but her brown-eyed gaze solely filled with concern.
For me.
I didn’t fucking deserve it.
“Is there room for one more in that shower?”
I was a weak asshole for saying yes, but my lips were moving before I could even think about denying her.
On the other side of the glass shower door, she took her clothes off, each item piling up on the floor. We’d burn them later, everything we’d worn tonight, but that could wait.
Her eyes were big when she stepped beneath the spray, and I turned up the hot water, knowing she liked it that way.
She didn’t say anything, just watched me carefully.
I didn’t know how to say the things that were on my mind, so I squirted soap onto my hands and then put them to her body.
She closed her eyes beneath my touch and the warm spray of the water. “That feels nice,” she murmured as I massaged it into her back.
She moaned softly so I slipped my hands around to the front and coated her breasts. I shouldn’t have, but I tucked myself in tight behind her, my dick against the top of her ass, my lips finding a spot on her neck that had been washed clear of suds.
She pressed her ass back on me and dropped her head to one side, giving me better access.
My fingers washed clean, I let one hand trail down to her mound, and then between her lips, searching for her sweet little bud.
She rocked with my fingers. “Talk to me, Vaughn. I know something’s wrong. If it’s the baby, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Even if it’s biologically yours. I’d never force you—”
“It’s not that,” I mumbled into her neck, inhaling the clean scent of her skin. I rubbed her clit faster, hoping she’d let it drop just long enough that I could at least make her come. I kissed every inch of her I could reach, trying to imprint the taste and shape of her to memory in case this was the last night she let me do it.
She moaned again but pulled away.
I dropped my hands to my sides. “You liked that. Why did you make me stop?”
