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“I agree,” I said. “No sense in hemming and hawing about it.”
"Well, let’s get right to it. Who do you prefer?" Dr. McCann asked, her tone direct and brusque.
"Jude Langdon," I responded without a second thought, surprised at the conviction in my voice.
"And why would that be?" she inquired, the subtle hint of a challenge resonating in her tone.
"Her interview was impeccable," I began, pausing to gather my thoughts. "Her integrity shines through in her actions. The docs and nurses on her floor speak highly of her. She's competent, has a firm grasp on management, and is a team player."
I could almost hear the approving smile in Dr. McCann's voice when she responded. "I'm glad we agree. I also believe Jude is the best choice for this role."
She then dropped the bomb on me. "You'll need to inform her tomorrow about the decision. I’ll be tied up in surgeries all morning and won't be able to do it."
I blinked, stunned. "Why me?" I managed to ask, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice.
"Because it's your responsibility now, orders from higher up the ladder than both of us," she said, her tone indicating that the conversation was over. “And besides, who doesn’t love to be the bearer of good news for once?”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up, the implication of her words sinking in. After my strange and abrupt departure earlier, I was now tasked with delivering good news to Jude. But would she even want to hear from me after the way I’d just behaved?
I continued the drive home, the night's events replaying in my mind like a movie reel. Jude, her laughter, her playful banter, the way her face had lit up with joy when she bumped into me at the deli. The surprise of encountering Andrew and Ashley, the unexpected flare of protectiveness I'd felt toward Jude. Then the shift in emotions, the realizations, and the abrupt departure.
In the quiet of my truck, I felt the enormity of my feelings for her. Something I hadn't anticipated, something I hadn't planned for. I was used to being in control, to being carefree, and to living my life on my terms. But the deep emotions I was experiencing for Jude were foreign and downright terrifying.
I found myself worrying about her, about how she must have felt when I left so abruptly. I worried about her reaction to getting the promotion, how we would navigate the newfound professional link. And surprisingly, I found myself worrying about our future— something I had never given much thought to before.
As I pulled into my driveway, the night was silent, but my mind was a cacophony of thoughts, worries, and realizations. It was clear that whatever was happening between Jude and me was far more significant than a casual fling or a brief attraction.
It suddenly felt like I was standing on the precipice of something big, something life changing. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't sure what to do. The cocky, confident Tony was uncharacteristically uncertain, and I had to admit, it was a frightening and exciting prospect all at once.
Chapter 20
Jude
As I stood in my empty living room, the warmth from Tony's presence was fading rapidly, and being replaced by a cold disappointment. The sudden change in his demeanor had left me confused and thrown off. One minute we were laughing, making love, and sharing stories, and the next he was abruptly leaving with barely a goodbye, an icy silence lingering long after the door had closed behind him.
I mulled over his behavior, trying to make sense of it. Could it be that he wasn't ready for a relationship after all? The thought stung, a sharp pang of regret settling in my heart. I thought he was different, that beneath the confident, playful exterior was a man capable of deep emotions, of commitment.
But as I sat alone in my silent house, I couldn't help but feel a creeping sense of betrayal. Had all of it been an act? The emotional vulnerability, the intimate moments we'd shared, were they just pieces in a game he'd played with countless women before me? Was I just another notch on his bedpost, another story to share with his buddies at the bar?
A bitter disappointment washed over me, mingling with embarrassment. I felt foolish for believing in him, for letting my guard down. I'd thought he was different from the reputation that followed him, a reputation of casual flings and countless lovers.
I sank onto my couch, pulling Sadie into my lap. The room seemed colder, the Christmas lights less bright. I couldn't shake off the feeling of being used, of being just another conquest for Tony. It hurt more than I cared to admit.
As I stroked Sadie's fur, I promised myself that I wouldn't allow him to hurt me anymore. I'd learned my lesson, and the next time I saw him, I'd be ready. I would guard my heart, protect myself. I wouldn't let his charm get the better of me again.
Still, as I sat in the dim light, a tiny part of me hoped that I was wrong about him. But the silence of my house, echoing with his abrupt departure, told a different story.
Sadie, my ever-present comforter, seemed to sense my turmoil. She nudged her head under my hand, her warm, soft fur a soothing presence against the turmoil of my thoughts. I drew strength from her quiet companionship, the rhythmic cadence of her breathing anchoring me amidst the waves of confusion and disappointment.
I heaved a sigh, ruffling her fur gently as I looked around the house. The festive decorations I had hung seemed to mock me, their bright cheer a stark contrast to the feelings swirling inside me. Shaking my head, I gently pushed Sadie off my lap and rose to my feet.
I padded to my bedroom, the hollowness inside me growing with every step. The bed seemed too big, too empty, as I undressed and slipped under the covers. I stared up at the ceiling, the shadows thrown by the streetlights outside dancing across the room.
The evening replayed in my mind, a confusing mix of pleasant moments and harsh words. I thought of Tony's laughter, his warmth, and then the coldness of his departure. It made little sense, and my mind spun in circles trying to understand what had gone wrong.
I rolled onto my side, pulling the blanket tighter around me. Sadie had followed me into the room, her soft snores a comforting lullaby in the otherwise silent night. She was a steady presence, her loyalty and companionship a balm to my stinging disappointment.
As I closed my eyes, I allowed myself one last thought of Tony. I thought of his smile, his bright eyes, and the inexplicable pull I felt toward him. Then I locked those thoughts away, tucking them in a corner of my mind. Tomorrow was another day, and I'd face it head on. I needed to rest.
