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The following morning, I arrived at work with the sunrise, earlier than most of my colleagues. Sadie, ever my companion, trotted at my side, her tail swishing with every step. As I sat down at the desk to check my emails, one particular message caught my attention, causing my stomach to churn with unease.
The email was from Tony, asking me to come to his office at ten. I swallowed hard, attempting to quell the sudden rush of nerves that welled up inside me. I wasn't sure what to expect, especially after the strange events of the previous night. A soft whine from Sadie had me looking down at her, her brown eyes filled with concern.
"I'm fine, Sadie," I reassured her, forcing a smile onto my face. I reached for a protein bar from the desk drawer, hoping the sustenance would help settle my anxious stomach.
As the morning passed, I busied myself with my duties, my mind a flurry of questions and apprehensions. My usual jovial banter with staff was noticeably absent, replaced with a forced smile and monosyllabic responses.
Sally had, of course, noticed my unusual reticence. "Why so quiet, Jude?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
Leaning in close, I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Dr. M sent me an email asking me to come to his office at ten," I confessed, my voice barely audible.
Sally frowned, her forehead creasing with concern. "Awfully formal for someone you're sleeping with," she murmured, her voice hushed to match my own.
I had no reply for that, the truth of her words sinking in. Sally was right. It was formal and unusual. And it only added to the growing knot of worry in the pit of my stomach. But I would face it head on, the same way I did with everything. Because that was just who I was.
After confirming that no one else had overheard our conversation, I looked at Sally, trying to keep my expression neutral.
"Could be about the job," I responded with a shrug, desperately hoping that was the case. It would be far easier to deal with than any discussion about last night.
I opted not to mention the events of the previous evening or Tony's abrupt change in behavior. While I felt a twinge of regret over the sudden shift in our dynamic, I couldn't deny that what had transpired had been just as passionate and intimate as our encounter at the cabin. I just hoped that it wouldn't impact my chances for the job I had applied for.
After finishing my charting, I checked my watch. It was almost ten, and I wouldn't be required in surgery with Dr. Farliss until eleven. That left me just enough time for the dreaded meeting with Tony. Anxiety gnawed at the edges of my resolve as I made my way to the elevator, each step bringing me closer to the unknown.
Tony's office was located on the third floor, a stark contrast to the hustle and bustle of the OR and patient wards. The receptionist greeted me with a cool glance.
"May I help you?" she asked, her tone neutral.
"Dr. Montivais sent me an email asking to meet him at ten," I informed her, trying to keep the unease from my voice. As she nodded and gestured for me to take a seat, I couldn't help but wonder what lay ahead. Not knowing was the hardest part.
Without a word, she pressed a button on the intercom. The office door swung open moments later, and there stood Tony, looking as dashingly handsome as ever. The sight of him stirred something deep within me, a mixture of desire and apprehension, which resulted in my stomach doing a painful flip. His smile was warm, but with mainly a professional air to it, a stark contrast to the Tony I had gotten to know.
"Please, come in," he invited, gesturing toward the interior of his office.
The office was sophisticated, echoing the man himself. It was the domain of a confident, accomplished professional, and somehow that thought made me even more nervous.
He shut the door behind us, effectively cutting off the rest of the world. I was aware of my heart beating in my chest, a wild drum echoing my unease. He offered me a seat, a gesture that was both courteous and considerate, but I declined.
"You don't need to be nervous," he tried to reassure me, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.
I laughed, a small, anxious sound that did little to alleviate my tension. "I'm a bundle of nerves," I confessed, my voice barely a whisper.
Our interaction was professional, stiff, a complete one-eighty from the ease and warmth that had characterized our encounter the night before. The contrast was jarring, only adding to the knot of anxiety twisting in my stomach. But this was work, and we both seemed intent on keeping our personal lives separate from our professional roles. I knew that was how it should be but still a part of me yearned for the intimacy we'd shared, the sense of connection that had been so potent and real.
Tony's professional demeanor continued as he moved behind his desk, creating an added layer of distance between us. He rested his hands on the polished wood surface, his gaze steady and serious.
"Jude," he started, his voice carrying that same professional tone, "as you know, the interview process for the OR manager's position has been quite rigorous. We had a number of excellent candidates."
He paused for a moment, his gaze not leaving mine. The weight of his words hung in the air, thick and charged with anticipation. I held my breath, waiting for him to continue.
"However, one candidate stood out amongst the rest. Someone who displayed exceptional knowledge, commitment, and a deep understanding of what the role requires."
His words were meticulous, carefully chosen, and delivered with a degree of authority that seemed almost foreign considering our recent intimacy.
"I discussed this with Dr. McCann and we both agree," Tony said, "your performance in the interview was impressive, Jude. Your answers were thoughtful, demonstrating a high level of competence and understanding of the role. More importantly, your track record speaks volumes of your commitment and dedication to your work. And that’s to say nothing of the glowing manner in which your colleagues speak of you.”
My heart was pounding in my chest, thudding against my ribcage like a drum. The conversation felt surreal, as though I were floating in a dream, my senses heightened by nervous anticipation. For a moment, Tony's commanding façade faltered, replaced by the warm smile that I'd come to know so well.
