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“I want to believe you’re not going to turn into a pushy creep,” Greg continued in a whisper. He wished he could step further away from Holden, but the man’s grip on him had gotten steadier, holding him in place so he couldn’t run away. “I’m hoping that this is enough, that you’re not going to get bored or—"
“I’m not any of the guys you’ve been with before,” Holden said. “I’ve told you that before, but it’s going to take time for you to believe that. And I will be happy to keep reminding you until you do.” When Greg shook his head, Holden’s soft smile felt like the gentlest of caresses to his heart. “Am I turned on? Absolutely. You’re sexy, you kiss like a dream, and I’ve enjoyed being with you and getting to know you. I enjoy doing things with you.” Holden’s smirk detonated another wave of warmth in Greg’s chest. “It’s not just about sex for me, though I won’t deny that I’m not thinking about all the things I’d like to do with you on that bed or in the shower or on the floor in front of a roaring fire. But I’m not throwing you onto that mattress because I’m forty-eight years old. I know how to control myself. I may not have had a lot of experience or relationships, but I know how important it is to listen to my partner, to learn what they want and like. So, tell me what you want, Greg, and I will do my darnedest to make it happen and make it as good for you as it will be for me.”
As he’d spoken, Holden had pulled Greg back into his arms. He brushed a lock of hair back from Greg’s face, then stroked his thumbs along Greg’s cheekbones until Greg wanted to sink to the floor in a puddle. All the while, Holden kept his gaze focused on Greg. “I’m learning a different vocabulary with you. That happens, or should happen, with everyone you’re intimate with, and it kills me that you don’t know it because you haven’t been with people who wanted to take the time to find out what you enjoy and want. That they seem to have taken your sexuality as carte blanche to be selfish. It sounds like your pleasure was just a means to their end. And that’s not okay to me. I like you, Greg, I really like you, and I want to keep getting to know you. And if that means our physical relationship consists of kisses and caresses…” Holden shrugged. “All the words I have make it seem like it’s a big deal to me or should be. It’s not a matter of itonlybeing kisses or me notmindingor saying I canlivewith that because that makes it sound like I’m settling for something that’s not as meaningful or that there’s some prescribed way two people are supposed to be with each other.” He shook his head. “None of that is what I meant when I said I like you. I like all of you. And there isn’t a damn thing you’ve told me in the past forty-eight-some-odd hours that has diminished how much I want to keep getting to know you and see where we end up.”
Holden huffed out a breath as he finished his speech.
“For someone who hasn’t had a lot of relationships, you seem to be doing pretty well, which is good because…” Greg closed his eyes as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him and rested his forehead against Holden’s. “I really like you too.”
He felt the smile that broke over Holden’s face then, felt it in the way Holden’s body relaxed, the way warmth flooded into the hands that still held his face. And then he felt it in the lips that touched his own. They were asking a question, and Greg answered by opening to Holden and letting him inside.
This kiss went on far longer than the previous ones and included hands untucking shirts, fingers ghosting against smooth, warm skin, and a rising desire that simmered in the center of Greg’s chest as he took a step toward the bed and drew Holden with him. Another step, and they were still kissing. Greg didn’t want to break contact with Holden, didn’t want the rising tension in his body to dissipate. He liked this. He liked Holden. There was a chance he might even be aroused.
When Holden did pause, Greg followed him to bring that soft heat with which he was becoming familiar back to his mouth. But Holden put a hand on his chest.
“Tell me what you want to do right now. With me. That doesn’t focus on my orgasm.”
Greg stared into Holden’s hazel eyes, struck dumb while he quickly tried to remember every sexual encounter he’d ever had. When he couldn’t come up with a single time one of his partners hadn’t been focused on getting off, he grinned sheepishly. “I have to admit, I don’t know. No one’s ever asked before.” He leaned forward and kissed Holden. “I think I’ve been hanging out with the wrong people.”
“I agree.” Holden kissed him back. “So, here’s what I think we should do. We should brush our teeth and then climb under the covers of the enormous and very comfortable-looking bed, and keep talking, kissing, and touching. What do you think?”
“That sounds like a plan.”
Ten minutes later, they were both naked and curled around each other under the thick down comforter. Legs entangled, Holden drew his fingers down the side of Greg’s face while Greg explored the muscles on Holden’s back. He loved how solid Holden felt under his hands and the smoothness of his skin as he traced the lines of his body. More than that, he loved how Holden had given him permission to focus on touch, on the two of them learning each other’s bodies, without an expectation that there would be something…more.
They drifted into lazy kisses while exploring each other’s bodies. It amazed Greg how good it felt not worrying about Holden’s expectations or if he’d need to “help” Holden out, and it made him aware of how much pressure he’d put on himself whenever he was with someone. He let himself get lost in the feel of Holden’s mouth on his and the velvet touch of Holden’s tongue as it caressed and teased his own.
When Holden rubbed his erection against Greg’s hip, Greg knew he wasn’t about to be on the receiving end of a request for him to touch or suck it. He still tensed, then apologized.
“It’s going to take me a bit to get used to this,” he said, but all Holden did was kiss him until he lost himself again in the feel of Holden’s mouth and hands.
“I…do…not mind…taking my time,” Holden said as he kissed his way up Greg’s neck, then teased at the ridges of his ear.
Greg flinched away, trying to hide his ears from Holden and rubbing them against his shoulder at the same time.
Holden sat up a bit, and Greg didn’t miss the twinkle in his eyes. “Are you ticklish, Greg?”
“No.” Greg went completely still. He had an older sister; he knew how this was going to go if he admitted anything.
“I don’t think you’re telling me the truth, Gregory.”
The sound of his full name coming from Holden’s mouth made Greg shiver, which made Holden grin. “Tell me,” Holden whispered as he began to trace Greg’s waist with his fingers.
Greg bit his lip and tried not to react, but when Holden hit a spot on the top of his right hip, he couldn’t help it and scooched away.
“Ah-ha,” Holden said.
Instead of the onslaught of tickles Greg expected, Holden kissed his way down his chest until he reached the sensitive spot, where he proceeded to nip and tease until Greg was squirming for a different reason. He propped himself up on his elbows and lifted the cover so he could watch what Holden was doing to his body.
It felt good—reallygood, actually—but Greg was distracted by the sight of his half-hard dick. He shifted slightly, rolling to the side and hoping Holden thought he was exposing more sensitive skin for him to touch. A hand on his hip guided him back, and when he looked down, Holden had his chin propped in one hand.
“What’s going through your head right now?”
Greg’s face grew hot, and he let his head drop back to the pillows so Holden couldn’t see his embarrassment. If he thought he would be successful at hiding, he’d seriously underestimated the man now shifting so he lay against Greg’s body. They were face-to-face again. Holden kissed him.
“Please tell me what you were thinking,” Holden said. “Because if it’s about you not being hard, you need to know that doesn’t bother me. I may not understand everything about your sexuality, but I’m learning, and I want to know more.”
Staring up at the ceiling, Greg shook his head. “I don’t want you to think I don’t like what you’re doing.”
