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“It’s fine,” Greg told him. “I’m on medication. I’m healthy. My viral load is essentially zero. But what I really want to say is that if you think this is something other than the flu, if you think there’s a chance you’re positive, I’ll go with you to the clinic so you can find out.”
“Oh.” Ricky rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “I hadn’t even thought of that. Do you think…?”
Greg watched his eyes track back and forth and knew he was going over his list of partners. At least Greg had known exactly who’d infected him, which had been a small comfort in the face of something that would be with him for the rest of his life.
“I don’t think…” Ricky started, still lost in his thoughts. “I’m careful about condoms and get tested regularly. I mean, there’s always a chance…”
Without the snarl or sneer Greg had gotten used to on his face, Ricky was actually kind of adorable, and Greg found himself thawing a bit toward his roommate.
“As I said, I’ll go with you if you want someone to be with you.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Another coughing fit made Ricky double over. “Oh, God. I think I’m dying. My head is pounding.”
“Right,” Greg said and stood up. “Sounds like you need the full sick-day treatment. Ginger ale, Jell-O, chicken soup. Have you taken anything?” When Ricky shook his head, Greg started listing off over-the-counter meds and asking which ones he preferred. “I’ll place an order. Anything else you want?”
“Ice cream?” Ricky asked and fixed Greg with such a puppy dog look Greg laughed.
“Sure.” He picked up his phone and ordered all the items and the ingredients he’d need to make his mom’s chicken soup recipe, as well as some things he needed for himself.
When that was done, he was going to suggest that Ricky take a cool bath to bring down his temperature, but he’d fallen asleep. Greg drew one of the blankets over him, checked his forehead, and headed into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He had no idea if Ricky drank tea, but it seemed like the least he could do until the order arrived from the store. Then he settled onto the couch to watch a movie, finally choosingTop Gun: Maverickdespite not being a huge action movie fan. It featured the fighter jets Holden worked on, and that was all Greg needed to help him feel closer to the man he loved.
Throughouttheday,asGreg made soup and brought Ricky ginger ale and crackers, he texted Holden. Silly things, mostly, like memes he came across on social media or a link to an interesting news story. He also threw in a couple of I love youseven though he knew Holden wouldn’t have a chance to look at them until later, so it surprised him when he got a couple of responses. It was only a heart or thumbs-up emoji, but it meant Holden had seen the messages and wanted to let Greg know. They meant a lot more to Greg than he expected, and he found himself thinking about the time he and Holden had spent in Aspen, about the previous night, about what his mother had said before he returned to LA. “It’s in your voice, Greg, and the look in your eyes,” she’d told him. “You know what you want.”
Was it possible that this was his forever person? His heart said yes, even as his brain suggested caution, and Greg thought about ways they could be together more often. He looked around the apartment he’d called home for the past five years. So much had happened within these walls, and he’d learned so much about himself in those years. Maybe it was time to move on, find someplace where he and Holden could build a life together. As fun as their rendezvous the previous night had been, Greg wanted more than occasional meetups in hotels. He wanted grocery shopping and cooking together. He wanted nights cuddled on a couch watching TV in their home. He wanted a space they could fill with photographs and mementos of their relationship. And he was pretty sure Holden wanted those things too, even though they hadn’t talked about it yet.
Dinner was chicken soup, and Greg was relieved when he brought Ricky his bowl that he looked better. His fever was down, and he seemed more alert. Greg still thought it was a good idea for him to get tested, but he was pretty sure Ricky just had a case of the flu. He took an extra dose of vitamin C with his own dinner, along with a couple of other supplements that supposedly boosted the immune system. Greg had no idea if any of them did a thing, but he rarely got sick. Knock on wood that would continue even though he was in close proximity to Ricky. He’d already moved his pillows into Luis and Darius’s room as a precaution.
After dinner, Greg was washing up the dishes when his phone rang with a call from Holden.
“Hey,” he said. “Everything all right?”
“Maybe.”
“What happened? You didn’t actually end up dumping Brody in the desert, did you?”
That, at least, got a laugh from Holden. “I didn’t, but it was close for a bit.”
Greg could sense Holden had something on his mind but figured it would be better if Holden told him in his own time, so he talked about Ricky being sick, asked Holden if he’d been able to get to the bottom of the glitches yet, and then finally asked about the drive out to China Lake. When Holden sighed, Greg had to laugh.
“You know I love you, right?” he said.
“Yeah.”
“So, what’s up?”
“I got a call from HR today.”
Greg’s blood went cold. “They’re not firing you, are they?”
“No. It’s nothing like that. At least not yet. I forgot that Far Sight self-funds our health insurance and that everything goes through HR.”
“This is about the PrEP, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. They needed to know my level of risk in order to make a decision on covering it. I told them that I’m in a relationship with someone who’s HIV positive. They can’t ask if the person is male or female, but…”
“Heterosexual couples can be serodiscordant too.”
“I know that, and you know that, but it just came on top of a whole bunch of other shit.”
