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“Like what?”
Holden sighed. “Can we FaceTime? I could really use a dose of your gorgeous face right now.”
“Sure. Let me check on Ricky, and then I’ll go get cozy in the other bedroom.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too. Give me a couple of minutes.”
About five minutes later, Greg was propped up on the pillows in Luis and Darius’s king-sized bed. He had to admit it was a damn sight more comfortable than his twin. His thoughts turned again to what it would be like to share a bed with Holden on a regular basis as he started the FaceTime call.
Holden’s face appeared almost immediately, and Greg could see the day had taken its toll on him. The man was sitting on his bed, his bare chest exposed.
“What do you think about getting your nipples pierced?” Greg asked out of the blue but was thrilled when Holden laughed.
“Not much,” Holden said when he could talk again. “Why?”
Greg shrugged. “No reason. Just you’re sitting there looking all sexy—which isn’t fair, by the way, since I can’t touch you—and it popped into my head. You’d look good with a bar or a hoop.”
“How about if I think about it?”
“Sure. No rush. Now, tell me what happened.”
The trip out to China Lake had gone better than Greg expected, given Holden’s texts this morning. Brody had held his tongue for most of the trip but kept eyeing Holden during their meetings, then didn’t even attempt to get him to head over to the officers’ club after they were done for the day. Then there was the call from HR.
“And I couldn’t escape the way I felt so…constrained,” Holden said. “I’m always so careful about what I do or say, always on edge that I’ll give myself away. It’s been like that my entire life, but I didn’t have anything to compare it with until this past week. When I was with you, there was none of this bullshit, none of this worry that someone would think there’s something…off about me, something different. And now I’m back in the middle of it, the vigilance, the anxiety, the constant need to assess whether I’m giving off straight vibes.” Holden ran his fingers through his hair. “To be honest, I’m not even sure what that means now. I’ve always thought I acted different, played a part, but I think it’s more of an awareness that I had to keep who I am separate from what I do, had to put so much energy into keeping this wall in place. I don’t have that when I’m with you. I can just be.”
“That makes sense,” Greg said. “I told you in Denver, it’s sometimes been difficult to know when to tell someone about my…” Greg searched for the correct word. He’d always used “complications” because that’s what they’d been in previous relationships, but that wasn’t how Holden saw it. “…about me,” he finally finished. “But you’re different.”
Holden nodded. “You are too.” He tipped his head back, exposing his throat, and Greg saw a constellation of small bruises along his collarbone.
“I hope you kept your shirt buttoned up today.” He brought his hand up to his own neck and traced the ridge of bone.
“Shit.” Holden’s hand rose to the spot, and he leaned closer to the screen, poking at the spots with his fingertips. Shaking his head, he chuckled. “I had on a tie for most of the day, so I don’t think anyone saw them. And Brody would definitely have made a comment, probably congratulated me on banging a wildcat or something like that.” He let out a huge breath. “Is it weird that all day I was thinking how much I wanted to chuck all this and be with you?”
“I was kind of thinking the same thing.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Greg shifted on the bed, summoning the courage to say what he really wanted to say. “What are you planning on doing after you retire?”
For a moment, Holden’s eyes lost focus, and he seemed to stare into the distance. Then he shook his head. “To be honest, I haven’t given it much thought. I’ve been so focused on just getting to the point where Icouldretire, I hadn’t really thought about what I’d do when I finally did.” And then Holden looked directly into the screen, and Greg felt as if he was staring right into Greg’s soul. When he spoke, his voice was deeper and slightly husky with emotion. “What I know now is that I don’t care so much what I do as long as I’m with you. That might sound crazy—”
It was Greg’s turn to laugh. “We’ve got to stop using that word.” He sobered and met Holden’s gaze through the screen on his phone. “I think this is just our normal.”
Holden nodded. “I think so too. And I do. Want to be with you.”
“I want to be with you too.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, and Greg felt something shift between them. An awareness. An understanding. They both smiled at the same time.
“I have a suggestion,” Greg said.
“I’m listening.”
“What if we both relocated somewhere? I can transfer to another hub city. You’ve told me most of your work is out West right now. We can have a home instead of hotel rooms. We can comehometo each other.”
“Where would you want to live?” Holden asked.
