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“Shall we begin?” Julian cleared his throat, the pink blush still lingering on his cheeks. “I’m impressed with your ability to connect ideas from literature to real-life experiences. Let’s build on that. My research suggested mind mapping as a complementary tool to someone with dyslexia.”
Alex grabbed the armrests, his weight sinking deeper into his chair. “You… you did research for me?”
Alex could see a slight tremor in Julian’s hands as they moved to organize the papers and markers. Normally, he would see that as a sign of nerves.But why would Julian be nervous about tutoring me?
“Mind mapping,” Julian said, his voice steadier than his hands, “is a visual technique to explore textual connections more deeply.”
With deft, deliberate strokes, he sketched a spiderweb-like diagram, creating an intricate network that resonated with Alex’s technical mind.
“It’s more than a tool.” Julian pushed the paper across the table, his eyes flickering briefly to meet Alex’s, a shy smile touching his lips. “It’s a way to understand better, to mold comprehension around your unique perspective.”
Alex studied the paper and the phrase “personal struggles” written at its center.
“In class, you drew parallels between Charles’sallegedlove for Sebastian and the broader theme of struggle.” Julian chuckled softly. “Now, think about their identity crises and frame it through your lens.”
Alex leaned forward, elbows on the table. “The characters… They’re trying to find where they fit, like components in system architecture. There’s a hierarchy in both.”
Julian’s lips puckered in amusement. “You’ve got an uncanny way of drawing parallels, but how do you relate on an emotional level? Beyond algorithms and code?”
Alex’s fingers drummed against the table in a rhythmic pattern that helped him think. “Patterns make sense to me. It’s like… decoding the world.”
Julian’s intensity was unwavering, drawing Alex in. “May I?” Without waiting, he maneuvered his chair beside Alex’s. A blank paper lay between them, a silent challenge. “Your turn. Dive deep. Personal struggles. Go.”
Feeling the weight of his proximity, Alex’s grip tightened around the marker. With a hesitant, yet deliberate motion, he wrote “dyslexia.” The ink pooled, his frustrations and anxieties bleeding onto the page. “Spoiler alert, growing up dyslexic sucked. Always feeling like an outsider.”
“Keep going.” Julian’s voice, a comforting whisper, urged him on. The warmth of his breath caressed Alex’s ear, setting his skin ablaze.
Alex’s hand wavered as he wrote “depression” and “self-esteem.” “The struggle with words turned into a war with myself. And there were casualties.”
Their shoulders touched as Julian leaned in. “Yet here you are, thriving in an elite university, studying a complex field. Your journey speaks volumes about your tenacity.”
Alex’s voice quivered. “Most people just considered me the ‘dumb kid.’ Even after my diagnosis and getting help, I hit rock bottom, failing my first year of high school.”
The weight of Julian’s gaze anchored Alex. A profound depth lurked within those eyes, simultaneously enthralling and unsettling. For a second, Alex lost himself in the possibilities that glance presented. He could trace the contours of Julian’s face, or maybe even taste the words he whispered.Nope, just those damn energy drinks.
Julian’s next questions snapped him back. “How did you persevere? After that failure?”
“A teacher.” The wistful smile on Alex’s lips drew a parallel between the past and the present. “She showed me dyslexia wasn’t a limitation, but a different way of seeing the world.”
Julian rolled back in his chair, the air between them cooling.
Alex’s breathing steadied, and he was grateful for the momentary reprieve from their closeness.
“Perhaps it’s time for me to share,” Julian murmured, leaning in as he uncapped a marker.
The sharp pop made Alex flinch and focus on his professor’s every move.
Julian’s hand moved across the paper with purpose. “Last year, amidst the whirlwind of change, I separated from my wife.” He gestured to the mind map, where he’d connected “leaving job” and “divorce” to “personal struggles.”
“She’s an esteemed academic,” Julian added, a hint of pride in his voice. “Securing positions at the same institution is hard enough, let alone the same department. After everything, leaving seemed the best choice. Jennifer deserved happiness, and… I was the source of pain.”
Alex nodded, unsure of how he could—or should—continue. “That led you to Blue Ridge?”
Julian nodded. “Nate—or as you know him, Dr. Gray—got me this job. I owe him a lot.”
“He’s… just a friend, then?” Alex tried to sound nonchalant, but reminders of their earlier interactions still gut-punched him with jealousy.
“We’re grad school comrades.” Julian’s voice was thick with nostalgia. “Blue Ridge is a change, but… I’m warming up to its charm.”
