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“So, Professor, who’s your favorite literary character?”
Julian laughed at the unexpected icebreaker. “Not exactly the first question I’d expect at a place like this.”
Alex twisted the hem of his shirt. “Tell me. I want to know you.”
Considering the question, Julian said, “Jay Gatsby. He represents the tragic pursuit of the unattainable. A dreamer who believed he could rewrite the past, only to find that reality is far more complex and unforgiving than his idealized vision.”
“Sounds kind of depressing.” Alex turned away from the bar and straddled the stool next to his professor. “But you relate to him? To Gatsby?”
“Perhaps,” Julian said. “I’ve spent much of my life chasing after an ideal that may not even exist—the perfect academic, the perfect husband, the perfect man.”
For a long moment, Alex sat silently. Finally, he said, “You prefer labels, huh?”
Julian blinked, taken aback by another sudden pivot.
“I didn’t mean that in a bad way.” Alex rubbed a finger down the seam of his pant leg. “It’s just that you like to define everything, categorize it. Put things neatly into boxes.”
Julian considered the assessment with a slow nod. “Labels provide clarity, structure, a source of community and belonging. A way to find others like yourself.”
Alex made a face. “It all sounds so… limiting, you know? As if we can be reduced to a few lines of code.” He licked his lips. “I mean, that’s why I brought you here tonight. To show there are lots of ways to live, to be yourself.”
Across the room, two older men appeared lost in a deep conversation, a shared history clear in their intertwined fingers. Nearby, a group of younger patrons laughed loudly, celebrating what seemed to be a friend’s recent engagement. Their joy was infectious.
“Do you see yourself anywhere?” Alex asked. “Gay, bisexual. Top, bottom. Bear, twink. What’s your label?”
“My expertise lies more in the realm of Shakespearean sonnets than the intricacies of contemporary gay culture.” Julian’s wry smile widened. “Is ‘confused literature professor’ an option?”
“Don’t think that’s on the list.” Alex laughed. “I’ve been called all sorts of things, from ‘hot gay nerd’ to ‘dolphin’ to—”
“Dolphin?”
He chuckled. “Oh, we’re a regular Animal Kingdom. Bear, otter, pig… fox.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Seriously, don’t feel you have to shove yourself into one of those boxes. They’re just words people throw around to make sense of things. To feel better about themselves.”
“You’re forgetting my career is analyzing other people’s words.”
“Maybe it’s time to create your own.” Alex shrugged. “I guess I don’t like feeling boxed in. Like any single word could sum up who I am or what I want.” His gaze flicked up, hesitant but determined. “I mean, we’re student and professor, sure. Is that all? Why label it?”
“I… I think that’s a wise idea.” Julian swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Labels can be a useful heuristic, but human relationships are far too complex to reduce to a single term.”
The clinking of glassware shifted focus to their drinks. Julian’s gin and tonic left a cool, wet trail on the polished wood. The bartender nearly splayed across the bar to hand Alex his beer and share a comment, eliciting a chuckle and a shake of the head. Julian took a long sip, savoring the gin’s punch and tonic’s fizzle and pop. On the dance floor, couples and groups moved together in harmony, unburdened by any preconceived notions of who they were or should be.
“Wanna dance?”
Alex’s question caused Julian to choke on his drink. When he reached for a napkin, he noticed Alex pulling money from his wallet and pushing it toward the bartender.
“Dance?” He dabbed the napkin against his chin. “I don’t… I mean, I can’t dance.”
“Remember, I’m the professor tonight, and this is my classroom.” He slid off his stool and walked toward the dance floor without waiting for a response.
Downing the rest of the gin and tonic, Julian admired the intriguing swagger in Alex’s stride. He navigated the crowd with the casual confidence with which he moved. The snug jeans didn’t hurt, either.
As he followed Alex—a behavior he seemed unable to control—Julian let the ambient hum of the bar and the weight of his internal musings dissolve. In this space, it became him and Alex. Everything else was mere noise.
The warmth of Alex’s fingers on Julian’s hips anchored him, drawing him closer and guiding their movements. Their bodies found a rhythm in sync with the music. Every sensation of touch heightened their closeness and deepened whatever had developed between them. With each sway and grind, he allowed the boundaries to blur between where he ended and where Alex began.
Julian relaxed into the music and into Alex’s hold. He allowed himself to surrender. To release from his ever-analyzing mind. To allow himself to justfeel. It was a tranquility, a freedom he hadn’t known he yearned for. Speaking quietly in Alex’s ear, he said, “I want to kiss you. The moment I saw you sitting in the library, I…”
Alex pulled back slightly.
