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Chapter Fourteen
MONIKA
Trey texts me Sunday morning saying that he wants to take me somewhere. The problem is that I don't feel good. My wrists feel like they're being stretched, and they hurt so bad.
Trey isn't big on surprises, so it must be important. I walk, hunched over, into the shower, get dressed in my new shorts, and wait for him to pick me up.
The entire drive my heart is thumping, especially because he seems so nervous. He keeps tapping his fingers on the dashboard, and his knee is shaking.
Is he nervous because he's finally going to spill the truth about Zara Hughes?
Is he high on drugs?
Are we about to break up?
My anxiety fades and curiosity takes control when we pull up to Wild Adventures amusement park.
"Wild Adventures?" I ask when he pays the parking guy five bucks to park in the lot.
"Trust me, you'll love it," he says.
"Trey, I hate roller coasters. You know that."
He pats my knee as if I'm a little kid about to go get a shot at the doctor's office. "You'll be fine."
I walk through the park, looking up at the huge contraptions like they're monsters. Mostly I'm afraid my body won't be able to take violent jerks. Every step makes me feel like I'm ninety instead of eighteen.
It's a miracle I've been able to hide my condition from Trey for so long. When I'm slow or my bones ache, I just tell him that my knees are stiff from cheerleading and he doesn't pry further.
I guess I was always afraid of him knowing the truth. Would he treat me differently? Would he think I was too delicate? Would he break up with me?
Just reading the warning signs as we stand in line for the roller coaster makes my joints ache.
"You'll have fun," Trey says, taking my hand and urging me toward The Blitz, the biggest ride in the park. "I promise."
"Umm... I don't think I can do this," I say, my voice trembling. "I don't feel good."
"Don't be a wimp, Monika. It's not a big deal. It doesn't even go that fast." He checks his phone as if he's expecting a text or call. Is he waiting for Zara to contact him?
We're so out of sync with each other.
When we're in line for The Blitz, I look over at his dark features. He's wearing long shorts, a tank, and dark sunglasses. He's tall, lean, and has a chiseled face that most guys would be jealous of. He's smiling as he drapes his arm around me while we stand in line.
I read another warning sign. It warns against pregnant people and people with back or neck problems. They don't specifically warn people who have other disabilities. I don't want to alert Trey to the fact that I'm not as healthy on the inside as I look on the outside. I've been able to hide it from him for over three years. I'm not about to reveal it now, especially when we're going through such a weird time in our relationship.
I take a deep breath. Okay, I can do this. I'm getting an infusion treatment soon, so my symptoms will subside.
To take my mind off my anxiety, I change the subject. "You played great last night," I tell him.
He squeezes me tight. "Thanks. Though I freaked the hell out when I got tackled at the line of scrimmage in the third period. I mean, if Gordon can't do his job to protect me I swear I'm going to kick his ass."
I look up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Now you sound like Vic."
"Vic got like ten sacks last night." He shakes his head. "I don't know anyone who can read the quarterback like him. He doesn't give one iota about school, but he's an effective football player."
"You jealous?"
"No." He smiles, glances at his phone again, then puts it in his pocket. "I can still outrun Vic any day of the week. And he doesn't have an amazing girl like you."
I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tight. "I'm so glad we're spending the day together."
Homecoming and worry are distant thoughts now as a soothing calmness washes over me.
Until I feel something lumpy in Trey's pocket. Pills.
I try to ignore the suspicion creeping into my thoughts. No wonder why his knee was shaking and his fingers were tapping uncontrollably. He's high on those pills he's taking. Is he addicted?
I need to confront him again.
I'm about to say something about the pills when I glance at The Blitz. Fear envelopes my entire body all the way down to the soles of my feet. I forget about confronting him, especially when I hear a bunch of people on the ride screaming from above.
"Trey... I'm not sure I can do this."
He gives me a gentle pat on the back. "Be resilient. It's merely a roller coaster."
"It goes upside down." I imagine the harness system failing while I plunge headfirst to my death. "What if I fall out? I'll die. What if my body gives out? I don't have the best joints."
"That's ridiculous. You won't die or fall out," he says, then laughs as he adds, "And your joints can take it. Seriously, Monika, stop freaking. I'm trying to do something fun. It would be cool if you didn't bash it. I heard you scaled a fence with the guys the other night. Don't pretend like you're suddenly fragile." He checks his phone again. "It might be the biggest, but I promise it's not even close to being one of the scariest rides here."
I snatch the phone away from him. "Why do you keep checking your phone?"
He takes it back. "No reason."
Another set of riders are strapped in, eager to be scared out of their minds. We move up and I furiously bite my nails.
We're next.
People are crowding around us now, and it's really busy and hot so there's a lot of body odor radiating off the crowd. I just focus on Trey and try to make everything and everybody disappear into the background.
Ugh, it's not working. I still have absolute fear of going on this death trap.
Couldn't it be called The Relaxing Journey instead of The Blitz?
"Next!" The employee with an official Wild Adventures nametag motions to us to get in the front row.
Front row? Oh, no!
I hesitate, but the guy waves us over again, seemingly frustrated at my hesitation. We've waited over an hour to do this. I can't back out now. I want to though. But I don't want to disappoint Trey, who's tried to convince me for the past hour that I can do this. He'll be by my side.
Taking a deep breath, I walk over and take a seat as the guy with the nametag orders me to strap in. I do it, then squeeze my eyes shut as the lockdown bar lowers.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I'm not going to regret it later.
But as I blindly reach over to clutch Trey's hand in mine, something's not right. Trey's hand is soft and strong. The hand holding mine is rough, like sandpaper.
I squint my eyes open and glance at the guy strapped in next to me.
No!
I suck in a horrified breath. It's definitely not my boyfriend, Trey. In his place is Matthew Bonk from our rival school, the guy who makes my skin crawl. I think he's got the record for most high school touchdowns in Illinois, but that fact just feeds his oversized ego. On top of that, he's friends with Zara.
"Hey, baby," Bonk says in a slow drawl as his beady
eyes roam over me and lock on to my cleavage.
Eww.
I snatch my hand back and wipe it on my shorts, then quickly glance over my shoulder. Where's Trey? When I spot him, I'm shocked. Trey is still in line with his cell up to his ear. He flashes an angry glare at Bonk. The apologetic look he then gives me doesn't help as the roller coaster starts moving.
What the...
So now I'm in the front seat of a roller coaster that's moving slowly and torturously up and up and up the scary tracks. Well, I'm not really alone. The biggest jerk to ever inhabit the earth is sitting next to me.
I tell myself not to look at Bonk, but I do. My eyes go wide as I realize that the guy has actually lit a joint. He takes a long, hard drag, then holds it out to me. "Want a hit?"
"Are you kidding me? No! Put that out, you jerk."
He laughs and takes another drag. "It'll make you relax and forget that dickless boyfriend of yours."
"I don't need to relax, thank you very much. And I'm sure my boyfriend can show you up any day of the week." I start doing Hail Marys.
I'm strapped in like a caged animal. There's no way to stop this thing now. I'm going to die next to Matthew Bonk of all people. For all I know, the joint will fly out of his hand and land in my lap or face, burning me. If I live, I'll end up with a permanent marijuana burn mark.
I squeeze my eyes shut once again and clench my body tight like I do in the morning when I get out of bed, waiting for this hellish ride to be over. Bonk's massive ego, as well as the smell of marijuana, radiates off him. I don't know where we are in the ride or how long it is.
I just pray it's over soon.
Suddenly I feel like I'm freefalling to my death, then I'm being jerked from one side to another... and again another... forget being blasted in the face with marijuana ashes.
I'm.
Going.
To.
Die.
I hear Bonk laugh and say "whoa" a bunch of times, which doesn't make me feel better. My joints are too stiff to hurt right now, but I'll pay for it later.
I know that these rides last only sixty seconds or less. But it seems like forever. Or maybe I'm stoned from secondhand smoke, and it just feels like forever. Fear is taking over all my senses. I hate the feeling of my stomach sinking with every drop and turn.
Finally we start slowing down. Is it over or are they duping me?
I let out a breath and open my eyes when we come to a complete stop.
"That was dope," Bonk says. He turns to me. "You've got to learn to loosen up so you're not such a cold, rigid bitch," he says, then steps out. "I'll see you at homecoming."
