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"Don't give me that 'nothin' crap. I see the way you look at him."
"We're just friends, I guess." Although that's not exactly true. "Actually, right now I hate him. We're not really friends anymore."
She nods in acknowledgment. "Alex, come here!"
Alex, who came to help out again today, walks over from the car he's been working on. "Tell Monika how it was love at first sight with you and Brit."
"I hated her," he says. "And she hated me. We came from opposite sides of town, and I thought we were so different." He laughs. "Who knew she was my soul mate."
"I did," Isa tells him.
He laughs. "True."
"As a guy, do you got any advice for Monika?"
"Yeah," Alex says. "My wife never stopped challengin' me. Made me want to be a better man."
I tried to challenge Vic, but instead of making him want to be a better man he's given up.
Suddenly the door to the garage opens. Bernie appears in a tailored suit, and he's holding a huge bouquet of roses in his hand.
"Did you just come from a funeral?" Isa jokes.
"No," Bernie says, completely serious. "I came to take you on a date."
Isa backs up. "I told you I don't date." She narrows her eyes at Alex. "Don't you dare say a word, Alex."
Alex holds his hands up. "I'm not sayin' anything, Isa."
Bernie hands Isa the flowers. "Go on a date with me."
"I can't," she says.
"Why not?"
"Because..." Isa tosses the flowers in the trash. She starts walking away, but then rushes back to the garbage can and pulls them out. "Fuck you for doin' this to me, Bernie."
"I'm just trying to love you," he says.
"Yeah, well all the guys I've loved die. You want to die?"
"I will eventually," he says. "I'm not afraid of dying. And I'm not afraid of you. Go out with me."
"I have work to do."
"I'll help you catch up on work."
"I fired you, asshole." Isa's words are harsh, but the way she's cradling the huge bouquet, as if it's her lifeline to happiness, shows her true feelings.
"You can fire me a thousand times, and I'll still come back," Bernie says. "You and I can make a great team. Just go out with me tonight. If you want me to leave you alone after tonight, well, I'll consider it."
"Do it," Alex says. "Give the poor gringo a chance."
Isa glares at him. "I didn't ask your opinion, Fuentes."
Alex shrugs.
I'm afraid to give Isa my own advice for fear she'll yell at me or fire me on the spot. But I do it anyways. "He's not going to give up," I tell her. "And those flowers are gorgeous."
Isa sighs loudly. It takes a long time for her to respond. Finally, she swallows and says in a weak voice. "Fine. Let me change first."
"Don't change," Bernie says, taking her by the hand and stopping her. "I'll take you just the way you are."
"You're a geek," she says.
"I know. I'll bet you never went out with a geek before, Isa. Let me give you a hint. Geeks make the best husbands."
Isa rolls her eyes, then turns to me as Bernie leads her outside. "If you want to come by to talk to Vic tonight, you can. I'll be back late, I guess."
I bite my bottom lip nervously as she hands me a key to the shop. "You sure?"
"Hell, if anyone can pull him out of his darkness it's you."
"How do you know?"
Isa winks. "I don't know a lot, but I do know you scare the shit out of him. And he ain't afraid of anything."
*
At eleven o'clock, I sneak out of my house with Isa and Alex's words echoing in my head. My intent is to find Vic and challenge him, no matter what it takes. I'm going to make him see that there's so much more to life that he's missing.
I also need to find out if these feelings I have for him are real or imagined.
I drive to Fairfield, my heart pounding and my hands shaking. I hold onto the steering wheel tightly to mask my nervousness. My joints ache because I've been tense all night.
I park in front and enter the dark garage. There's a small light leading upstairs to Isa's apartment, which has become Vic's cave.
I'm about to walk upstairs when a voice echoes through the darkness. "Monika?"
I turn to the sound of Vic's voice. He's leaning against the bumper of one of the cars.
"We need to talk, Vic."
"What do you want to talk about?" he asks, walking up to me.
"Stuff. Important stuff."
"I'm not going back to Fremont, so you might as well save your breath."
"I know." I glance at him. "We need to have a serious talk."
I'm gathering enough courage to be honest with Vic about everything. I already feel like I've held too much back.
I'm going to put it all out there and tell Vic how I feel.
Even if it pushes him away.
Chapter Forty-five
VICTOR
The soft illumination from the streetlights streaming in through the frosted garage windows provides just enough light to make out what Monika's wearing.
I'm trying to ignore the fact that we're alone. I have no clue why she came here or what she wants. Whatever it is, I have to stay unemotional and detached. I'm not about to drag Monika into my fucked-up life.
She walks over to an old rusty truck on one of the racks. "I've been working on this car."
"Cool," I say, eyeing the truck. "I know it makes me feel useful when I can fix somethin' that's broken. I'm sure you feel the same way."
"Speaking about something broken--I wanted to ask you something," she says. "Did you know Trey was cheating on me?"
"No. There's no way he'd cheat." Trey was into Monika from day one. Hell, when they started dating our freshman year, we had to come up with rules on how many times he could say her name or bring her up. Jet used to laugh at how whipped he was.
"Then you didn't know him very well."
He was my best friend. Of course I knew him. There's a bunch of chairs lined up in the waiting area of the garage. I sit on one, stretch my legs out, and watch Monika through lidded eyes as she explores the garage.
Looking at Monika next to the truck is like seeing a butterfly next to an old beat-up shoe. The two don't mix, but there's beauty to be found in both. She turns around and catches me watching her.
"Just be honest with me," she says.
Honestly I want to hold her in my arms.
But righ
t now the only honest thing I can share is: "Honestly, I hate cheese when it's in block form but don't mind it when it's melted."
Her mouth quirks up into a smile and she nods. "I was talking about Trey cheating on me."
"I know nothin' about that. I'm talkin' about cheese."
The light shines on her hands, which are clenched tight. "I don't want to talk about your weird cheese issues. I want to talk about Trey, because you and I can't move forward unless you know the truth. Trey cheated on me with a girl named Zara Hughes. Do you know her?"
"Zara Hughes?"
She stands up straight and takes a deep breath, as if she's bracing herself for all the bad news I'll give her about Zara and Trey. "Tell me everything. Don't hold back."
"Okay," I finally say. "I know her. Trey texted her a bunch, but he said they were just friends. She goes to Fairfield."
"Where did they meet?"
"Don't know. Lollapalooza, I think."
She nods as she takes in all the information.
"He was in love with her, Vic," she finally says. "I found pictures of the two of them from a while ago. He was looking at her like... well, let's just say he hadn't looked at me that way for a long time."
I focus on the tool chest. Hell, I don't want her analyzing the way I look at her.
All this is just playing with my head. Trey was in love with Monika. I mean, yeah, he talked to Zara and maybe hung out with her a few times, but...
I don't want to think that Trey was fucking around on Monika. How could he? Why would he? Monika is the most loyal, dedicated girl who gave Trey everything a guy would want. She's supportive and funny and smart, not to mention beautiful.
She's the girl that dreams and fantasies are made of.
"He wasn't perfect, you know," she whispers in a soft, vulnerable voice.
He was in my eyes. He had the life I always wanted. Parents who cared, natural athletic talent, and a brain that could rival Einstein's. To top it off, he had the perfect girl.
"I'd know if he was screwin' around on you, Monika," I say confidently. "There's no way he'd be able to hide that fact from me."
"You're wrong." She tilts her head to the side, and a stream of light shines on her curious eyes.
I can't do this. Not here, not now, when I have the urge to comfort her.
Her eyes are filled with tears and frustration now. Oh, man, I can't stand watching her break down. It's killing me. "We broke up before he died, Vic. He wanted me to keep it a secret from everyone until after homecoming."
"No." I walk up to her and cup her chin tenderly in my hand, urging her to look up at me. "Trey wanted to make you happy. He loved you."
