AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah…intense,” he replies.
I watch his features for any sign that he might freak out. Some straight men seem to have such a stigma about their asses, like there’s something so sacred about them that being touched or penetrated changes them in some chemical and cosmic way.
Unless you count the mind-melting orgasms I’ve witnessed them having, it doesn’t.
It’s just an ass.
Pegging was never really about that, anyway. For us, it was about submission. Trust. Connection. And the liberation of no longer fearing something you once feared.
And out of all the men I’ve experienced this with, it’s no surprise that Clay was by far my favorite. He was adorably nervous, trembling the first time I grazed his prostate while prepping him. His eyes stayed so set on mine the whole time. It was as if my gaze provided him the comfort he needed—likeIwas what he needed.
“How are you feeling?” I ask for the hundredth time tonight.
His brow furrows slightly as he rolls onto his side, pulling me into his arms. He’s deep in contemplation, but I don’t rush his response. I let my cheek settle against his forearm and savor the way it feels to relax with him, switching roles so I no longer have to be the dominant one.
“I feel good,” he whispers. His hand strokes my arm, and my leg drapes over his. We’re comfortable and quiet. Then he speaks again. “I’ve never felt so close to anyone before, Eden. I’ll be honest…it freaks me out a little bit.”
My heart pounds harder with each word because I feel it too, but I’m so afraid to let him see just how much. I slant my head toward him. “Why?”
He turns. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be so vulnerable with another person? Have you ever experienced it from this perspective?”
My head drops back to his arm. “Yes, of course.”
“Well, did you feel like you were falling in love with the person you were with?”
There’s a wounded tone to his voice that makes my chest ache. My head lifts up as I stare back at him.
Love?
No, no, no.
“No. Clay…”
He puts a hand up. “Please don’t say anything. I know how fucking stupid I sound, but that’s just how I feel, Eden. I experience emotions with you that I don’t know how to put into words. Sometimes I feel like I barely know you, and you know every intimate detail about me. But no matter what, I just keep coming back.”
His gaze finds mine, and I cling to it like I’m suddenly the one finding comfort there. I’ve never felt so in tune with anyone before, as if I could just stare into his eyes forever, my twin flame staring back.
“I’m addicted to you,” he whispers.
My heart is ripped from my chest, and I feel like if this conversation goes any further, it will go somewhere we can’t come back from.
I can’t start a romantic relationship with a client. I just can’t.
“You don’t sound stupid,” I whisper, brushing my thumb against his cheek. “I’m sorry if this feels one-sided, but my personal life isn’t—”
“I know, I know,” he says, interrupting me. “It’s okay. I understand. If these little moments are all I can have of you, then that’s what I’ll take.”
It’s not good enough for me. Something is still gnawing at my insides even as he tries to relax into our cuddled position.
“They’re not little moments,” I reply with my face now on his shoulder. My hands wrap around his midsection, my fingers tracing the ridges of muscle along his torso like they’re trying to memorize every detail. “These are very big moments, Clay, for both of us.”
His lips press against the side of my head. “I can live with that.”
“Sold! To the man in the back for two thousand dollars!”
I watch from the bar as the girl with pigtail braids and a schoolgirl uniform bounces off the stage and walks to the back of the club to meet the man who just won a date with her for the next hour. There’s obvious chemistry between them as she drops onto his lap, and they smile at each other with excitement.
I love auction nights at the club—or at least, I used to.
