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She looks at me as she nods again. “If that’s all right with you.”
Grabbing her face, I kiss her lips. Then her cheek, jaw, and forehead.
I can’t remember when I was ever this happy. Not only is she letting us back in, but she’s letting usall the wayin. We are a part of her life. Her real life.
“Yes. It’s more than all right with me,” I reply with a wide grin.
When she smiles back, I realize that everything might actually be all right.
We don’t know how long it will last or what will become of us in ten months or ten years. What we do know is that we are safe with each other, and that’s all any of us can ask for.
Rule #51: It doesn’t have to be what you had planned to be perfect.
Eden
I wake up Madison, who’s sleeping on the couch. When she opens her eyes and sees both Clay and Jade standing awkwardly in my kitchen, she doesn’t even blink. She greets them politely, and when Clay introduces himself, she nods with a knowing smile.
“Jack talks about you all the time. And you must be Jade,” she says, smiling at a blushing Jade in her dark-green ball gown.
I can see the pride on both of their faces to hear that Jack still talks about them to his nanny. I’m wearing a proud smirk as I walk Madison to the door, thanking her again for babysitting.
When I come back inside, Clay and Jade look so natural in my house. Jade is sitting on the countertop, and Clay is staring at the various school pictures and colorful drawings pinned to my refrigerator.
“About that shower,” I say, nodding toward my master bedroom. They both follow behind me, and I shut us in as I move toward the bathroom. Then I twist the knob to turn on the water and pull three towels from under the sink.
It’s not the world’s biggest shower, but at least it’s big enough to fit the three of us if we’re comfortable being close, which we obviously are.
I help Jade out of her dress as Clay strips my jacket from my shoulders. Then I pull her into the shower with me. We both moan under the hot spray. She helps to wipe the makeup from under my eyes while I lather up her hair with shampoo. Once we’re both clean, I stare down at her. Her short brown hair is slicked back, and there are droplets of water on her nose and ears. She looks so incredibly perfect. I’m flooded with relief that she’s here. I’m thankful she came to the club tonight, that she forgave me, and that she wants this as much as I do.
I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her tight against me, hugging her naked body to mine under the hot spray of water. I’ve never been so intimate with someone in my life. Even after being married. Even after seven years as a sex worker. There has never been a moment as intimate as this one because we aren’t just showing our bodies to each other; we’re exposing our souls and our hearts. What could be more vulnerable than that?
The shower door opens as Clay steps in with us. Jade and I pull him into the embrace without hesitation. The three of us stand under the water together. It’s not about sex, and that’s not where this is leading. We’re just holding each other and breathing the same air, as close as three people can possibly be.
At the moment, I feel like the luckiest woman alive.
How did I end up here? How do I deserve this?
There was a time in my life when all I wanted was the bare minimum. A safe place to live. A simple life for my son. A life without abuse.
I wrote off the idea of any kind of fairy-tale love. That would have been asking too much.
Then these two came along, and now I feel almost greedy accepting this. I clawed my way out of hell, and I never did it expecting to get to heaven. But here I am.
After pulling from our embrace, Jade and I wash Clay’s hair, laughing as we style his long locks in different ways. He shakes them all out as we giggle at him. I think we’re all delirious and high on the perfection of this moment.
Finally, we climb out of the shower one by one. I give Jade something to sleep in, and then the three of us stare at my king-size bed without anyone making the first move.
“Are you sure this is okay?” Jade asks.
“I can sleep on the couch,” Clay adds, but I just shake my head.
I nod. “Yes, I’m sure. I talked to him a little. I prepared him as much as I could.”
Clay nods with a tight smile as I move toward the bed and pull back the covers.
“But you know…keep your clothes on,” I add sternly.
At that, they laugh a little. Then we climb in. Jade is in the middle, and I take the side I normally sleep on. After we’re all settled, I click the lamp on the bedside table. The room is bathed in moonlight. Under the covers, our legs are all touching, slightly tangled. On top of the covers, our hands are linked. Jade’s back is pressed to my front, and she’s using my arm as a pillow.
