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It’s different, weighted somehow.
But when he pulls back and his deep brown eyes shine as he looks at me, I understand.
For him, it’s weighted by the promise of the future and the excitement that it brings.
And for me, it’s weighted by the secrets of the past and the power they hold.
Dax leaves. I keep standing in the cottage doorway long after the taillights from the Range Rover disappear.
The next couple of hours, I try my best to not think about him. Where he is. What he’s doing. I put a horror movie on, and then flick the TV off when it doesn’t hold my attention and walk to the window to gaze out into the dark instead.
That’s something so different here, on the estate. It’s so dark at night. No lights from other properties. There’s just a faint glow of the light from the main gates.
“This is ridiculous,” I huff.
I’m so annoyed at myself. I should have told him earlier. Not wimped out. Maybe he would have stayed so we could talk. Maybe whatever he’s doing tonight could have waited. I mean, this is important. There’s nothing that could be more important right now, is there?
I grab my phone and bring his number up, hitting dial before I can doubt my actions. I’ve never called him when he’s out at night. But I’ve also never been unable to sleep because I’m sitting on something that’s the equivalent of the iceberg to the Titanic.
He answers on the second ring.
“Rose? What’s wrong?”
Even Dax knows. I’ve not said a word yet. But he knows something isn’t right. It’s crackling in the air.
Tension. Unease.Fear.
“I…” I walk over to the sofa and drop into it, resting my forehead in one hand. “I just wanted to hear your voice.” I sound weak, desperate. I know I do.
There are muffled sounds on the other end and the sound of wind as though Dax is outside.
“I’ll be back soon.” The regret in his voice makes my chest burn. I’m calling him and making him feel bad about leaving me. He told me he needed tonight. Whatever he’s doing must be important to him.
I need to trust him.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I just miss you, that’s all. I’ll leave you to get on with what you’re doing. I’m sorry for interrupting.”
“Don’t. Don’t ever apologize. Not for wanting to speak to me.” His voice softens. “Rose, I don’t think you know how much… Jesus.” He blows out a slow breath. “I don’t think you know just how much I love that you call me when you need something. I want to be the first person you call, whatever the reason.”
“You are.” Despite the aching force pulling down inside my chest, I still manage to smile at the happy sound he makes in response.
“Good. And from tomorrow, you won’t need to call, because I’ll be there. I’ll be there with you. I’ve just got this one last thing to do. Then Young, my past, it’s all behind us.”
“Young?” The hairs on the backs of my arms stand up as my skin prickles, sending goosebumps skittering up my arms. “Julian Young? Dax… Where are you?”
The silence stretches on for a few excruciating seconds.
“I’m—” He exhales. “I’m at the dockyard. It’s just work, nothing to worry about.”
“Is Julian Young there?”
“No.”
My shoulders sag with relief. Dax has a temper, I know that. For a second I thought he’s doing something stupid. I don’t know why, it’s just this feeling I have. This unease that’s settled low in my gut.
But of course, Julian wouldn’t be there. Dax doesn’t know what I know.
Yet.
