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“And Mav found me. The rest is history, I guess.”
“You’ve been with him since you were sixteen?”
“Yep. He found me after Dad put a call out that I’d bolted, and—”
“I remember. Reid and I were at the clubhouse when the call came in. We were out looking for you too.”
“And what would you have done if you’d have found me first?” I ask, although I’m not sure I actually want to hear the answer.
“I had no idea, Dove,” he says sadly. “If I did, I never would have sent you back there. I would have tried to do what Mav did, although, I’m not sure I’d have done such a good job.”
Reaching over, I take his hand in mine. “I think you’d have been perfect.”
His smile is short and hollow, his lack of self-confidence shining through.
He shrugs. “At least I’d have fucked you.”
Silence falls between us, the truth of that statement pressing heavily on my shoulders.
Yeah, JD would have fucked me if he’d found me all those years ago. If he knew the truth, he possibly would have protected me. But something tells me that he wouldn’t have given me everything Mav has. The security, the safety, the confidence that even if the worst happened, that he’d be there for me.
“You should try it, you know,” I say after long minutes.
“Try what?” he asks, turning to look at me. The side of my face burns with his attention, but I don’t return his stare.
“Journaling. It might help with your…” I trail off, unsure how he’ll feel about me addressing the darkness that lingers in his eyes sometimes. “Mental health,” I add quietly.
I glance over, expecting to find a hard, closed-off expression on his face, so I’m surprised when I see his lips curl up and a laugh spill from his lips. Although, it doesn’t hold any joy, just bitterness that makes my stomach knot.
“What’s funny?” I ask, confused.
“Nothing. You’re just not the first person to tell me that over the years.”
“Oh,” I breathe. “Have you tried it?”
“No,” he says, ripping his eyes from mine and gazing out into the yard. “But then, no one has made it sound as tempting as you.”
“How have I made it tempting?”
His smirk grows, and this time it’s his signature one that I’m used to.
“You’d be naked while I did it, right?”
“Julian.” I laugh, rolling my eyes at his playfulness.
“What? Seems like a good idea to me. You get naked and I’ll go and find a notebook and pen.”
He pushes to stand, letting the seat swing free.
“I’m not getting naked with you,” I argue, despite the fact I’m barely clothed as it is. I’ve once again forgone the clothes they brought me in favor of one of his tanks.
“Oh no?” he asks, taking a step closer, leaving me in his shadow.
“Nope,” I state, popping the P for good measure.
“Wrong answer, little dove,” he warns, kicking my legs wider, allowing him to stand between them.
I yelp when he suddenly leans forward, tilting the swing back to the point I almost slide out before lowering his face to mine.
