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“They…they wouldn’t.”
“They gave me up for dead,” I said forcefully. “If Omar and I hadn’t already—”
Matteo caught on quickly. “If you hadn’t what?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
He looked horrified. “Did you actually let that mantouchyou? After what he did to our family?”
“You mean, his response to what Apá did tohisfamily? Should any of us be surprised that Omar chose my engagement party to exact vengeance?”
Matteo stared at me. “You love him.”
It was a statement, not a question, but I answered anyway. “Yes.” Matteo looked like he’d argue. Tell me I was wrong to have those feelings. “On a tiny, very isolated island, Omar gave me more freedom in a week than I’ve ever had in my entire life living under Apá’s rule,” I said. Despite the anger that I felt, I smiled; it was easy to do when I thought of Omar. “He gave me a studio to paint in and supplies…and that was because he saw me drawing with a stick in the sand.”
“What about Felix?” Matteo asked.
“What about him? When he figured out I'd been with Omar, hisinfatuationwith me disappeared. I wish I’d had the courage to fuck someone years ago. Then I wouldn’t have had to go through that farce of an engagement.”
“Lyse!” Matteo looked scandalized. “Where has my sweet sister gone?”
I gave him a hard look. “She’s dead,” I told him. “That you can be damn sure of.” He stared at me for a long while. “Omar allows me to be myself,” I said. “He doesn’t make me live in fear of what may come out of my mouth; he doesn’t care if I’m perfectly pleasant. Hell, I think helikesit when I’m a little mean to him.”
Matteo shook his head, and I suspected he was trying to erase the images he now had in there. He surprised me when he asked, “He’s good to you, then?”
I nodded. “He is.”
“And he…loves you too?”
I shrugged. I wanted to say unequivocally yes, but…could I say that when he’d left me here? “I think he does,” I said after a moment.
“So, why did you call me?” Matteo asked.
“I want to know what’s going on at home. Why is Apá obsessed with this war with the Castillos?”
Matteo’s face went hard. “I shouldn’t be telling you anything if you’re in love with a Castillo,” he said, guarded, but then he softened. “Shit’s gone pear-shaped, but Apá’s going to work it out. Don’t worry about us.”
Us, I thought, but I wasn’t a part of theusanymore. It was clear in the way that he was talking. “I won’t,” I assured him. “I think…this is where we part ways,mijo. I need to figure out what the hell to do next.”
He gave me a stricken look. “I might be able to…point you in the right direction.” He swallowed hard. “Apá sent Jesus back out to collectLa Bestia’s head. He’s not supposed to come home until he succeeds or dies trying.”
My chest seized. Omar wouldn’t be expecting another attack. “I don’t have a way to warn him. I don’t have a way tocontacthim.” My throat felt tight, like I couldn’t get a full breath.
Stop hyperventilating, I commanded, but it was nearly impossible now that I’d started. Matteo reached across the table and grabbed my hands. “I can help,” he said, gripping me.
“What?”
He dug into his pocket, pulled out his phone and tapped on it for a second. Then he turned it around: Lili Castillo was in his contacts. “You still have her number?” I asked. “After all this time?” Not that he needed to save her number, given his memory, but the fact that he did spoke volumes, even if he wouldn’t.
Matteo’s face shuttered. “We aren’t talking about her,” he said. “Not now.”
Not ever, more like, I thought. Lili didn’t even want to acknowledge that sheknewmy brother, let alone that they were…whatever they were in high school. Neither of them would ever admit to the full extent of it, I was sure. “I don’t have my phone.”
Matteo pulled a pen out of his pocket and wrote the number down on a napkin. “Here.” He pushed it into my hand. “That’s as far as I can go without betraying the Rojas, understand?”’
I nodded. He meant that we were done here. “Thank you.”
“Will I see you again?”
