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He let me go and turned to face Luca. “Look, I know this is hard for you to understand, given the guy you’ve fallen for returns your feelings.”
“You don’t know that,” Luca interrupted, a faint blush on his cheekbones.
“Please,” Arlo scoffed. “Anyway, what I was trying to say is that sometimes it’s better to have the pain than nothing at all.”
Something in my chest clanged. Sometimes it was easy to forget I wasn’t the only one tormenting myself with someone I couldn’t have. I didn’t know what had transpired between Arlo and Jack, Luca’s guard. Whatever it was had been painful enough to make Arlo retreat into himself, not allowing anyone other than us close. Yet whenever the idea of Jack leaving his post arose, Arlo was the one who’d put a stop to it.
Maybe this was why. Because he also needed the pain.
I wrapped my arms around Arlo from behind while Luca embraced him from the front.
“Guys, I’m fine.” Arlo’s voice was muffled against Luca’s chest. “Although life would be a fucktonne easier if there was even the slightest bit of sexual chemistry between us.”
Our laughter echoed in the small space, this being a conversation we’d had many times before. “Nah. We’re just destined to be lonely fuckers for all eternity.”
“Speak for yourselves,” Luca said, waggling his eyebrows as he stepped back. “I’ve got a hot date waiting for me.”
Just like Silas.My stomach twisted. I hadn’t missed the curvaceous blonde who’d caught his eye, nor the not-very-subtle signal he’d sent Rhys’s way.
“Rub it in,” Arlo muttered. “So much for wanting to make sure we’re okay.”
Luca put a hand on his chest in mock offence. “I can be worried about you and still excited about my sex life.”
There was a brief knock on the door before Jack stuck his head in. Like always, his gaze landed on Arlo, checking him over before turning to Luca. “You ready? Kevin’s getting annoyed.”
“Kevin’s a cunt,” Arlo muttered as Jack led us all from the room and towards the meet and greet.
“Agreed,” I said. Kevin was our manager. We hadn’t had any issues when he’d first started with us. To be honest, he’d been such a welcome relief after the shit show we’d been dealing with that we hadn’t seen any red flags. Over the last few years, though, it hadn’t escaped my notice that he’d become more controlling. He liked to have a say over everything: the songs we put out, tours, images, and even our personal lives.
The final straw for me had come when he’d interfered between Arlo and Jack. For years, Jack had guarded our drummer like he was his most treasured possession.
Then, we’d all been called into a meeting and informed that Jack would guard Luca going forward. That’d been five years ago.
Arlo hadn’t been the same since.
I’d wanted to fire Kevin there and then, but Arlo had refused. My respect for his feelings had stopped me from insisting. Ever since, I’d watched Kevin like a hawk.
I didn’t like what I’d seen.
The line of fans began screaming as we came into view. Silas was already there, deep in conversation with the blonde from the front row.
Not wanting to disappoint my fans, I pasted on a smile and began to pose for selfies. It wasn’t long before the inevitable question was asked.
“Can I get one with you and Silas?”
“Of course.” My best friend sidled up beside me, his dimple flashing. He slung an arm over my shoulder, pulling me in tight to his side.
I sighed internally as the girl positioned us in the frame and clicked away. Touching Silas wasn’t the problem. It was that I couldn’t touch him the way I truly wanted.
The second she moved away, I slipped from Silas’s grip. I stepped to the side only for Silas to follow, pressing himself against me like he was unconsciously mirroring my movements.
That was where he stayed for the rest of the night, quietly cracking jokes between every selfie. It wasn’t long before I forgot that this wouldn’t last. That he’d be leaving me to go take that beautiful woman home.
For a few minutes, he was just mine. We were just us.
“Lot of fans to meet tonight,” he commented as the last one filed out, leaving us to make our way to the exit. My guard, Dylan, trailed us at a healthy distance.
“Mmm,” I said, trying to ignore how his hand brushed against mine as we walked. “More every night, it seems.”
