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“Harder,” Not-Silas grunted. The other guy complied, fucking him so hard that the bedframe banged against the wall.
Having only been with women, I hadn’t considered how it must feel to have someone rail you like that. That wasn’t to say I hadn’t had anyone touch me down there. A few women I’d been with had been game to do some exploring. It’d always felt good, but I hadn’t considered putting anything bigger than a finger up there.
Judging by the whimpers and moans coming from the bottom, I’d been missing out.
Not-Kai wrapped his hand around his partner’s cock, stroking him furiously. Was that what Kai did with men? Did he make sure they fell over the edge first?
Fuck, I was so sure he did. I imagined him walking in right now and seeing what I was doing. He’d shove my hand away, growling into my ear before taking me in his grip and…
White liquid filled my hand as my orgasm whipped through me. I rode out the waves, imagining Kai beside me, coaxing me through it.
When it was over, I closed the laptop screen and stared at the mess in my hand.
Well. That was one question answered.
The only thing to figure out now is what I would do with that information.
The fourth month
Myyellreverberatedfromthe walls.
The fear leeched from my nightmares, chasing me awake. I was standing beside my bed with no recollection of how I got there. My pillows were on the floor and my duvet was kicked from the end of the bed.
I pressed a hand to my chest, willing my heart to slow.
It’s just a dream. He’s not here. He can’t hurt you.
Dropping to the floor beside my bed, I reached for my phone. Like I had a thousand times before on nights like these, I opened my contacts and hovered over Kai’s name.
But what was the point? Kai also wasn’t here. And he wasn’t taking my calls.
I rubbed my hand over my face, forcing my fear and sorrow down. I was being selfish, expecting Kai to keep picking up my shattered pieces.
It was probably why he’d left in the first place.
But everything was going to change when he got home. I planned on being at the airport to meet him. I had no idea if what Ruby and Arlo had hinted at was true, but if it was…
If it was? Well, I wouldn’t let Kai walk away from me again. Sometime over the years, I’d stopped looking at Kai as a friend and started seeing him as something…more. And given how I’d almost worked my dick raw with various fantasies, thatmorewas far from platonic.
I would make sure he knew how much he meant to me. That I’d always be his best friend, regardless.
But I was also open to exploring things if that was what he wanted.
Knowing sleep was impossible, I took my phone into the living room. I poured some rum into a glass, imagining how Kai would roll his eyes over my choice to drink it neat.
Kai.I missed him so much. I hadn’t realised quite how deep his roots wove with mine until they were suddenly ripped away.
Deciding to torture myself, I sat on the sofa and opened Instagram. Kai’s handle was the only one in my search bar. During tours and recordings, our social media was in the hands of our assistants.
Luca and Arlo never bothered to take control back during our downtime, but Kai and I always had. We liked to share the more personal side of our lives with our fans. Not the intimate details but funny snapshots of our everyday lives.
Never in a million years had I imagined it was a place I’d be relegated to where Kai was concerned. Waiting on tenterhooks for a new picture, along with a few million fans.
Well, they could all get in line. Kai had been mine first.
The few photos he’d uploaded from Mexico had been bittersweet. A frosted margarita glass on a table. Sunset over the ocean. I was thirsting for these glimpses of his life like a dying man.
His profile loaded and the glass slipped from my hand.
