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“We can talk about this later. Just let me get Charlie inside.”
“Oh, so now you’re a gentleman?” Jeremiah scoffed, then looked at the floor, where a blunt had fallen out of Reece’s pocket in the night. He hadn’t even smoked it last night, but I knew he carried them with him sometimes.
Jeremiah reached down and picked it up, then shook his head, taking just a quick glance my way before glaring back at his brother. “I should have fucking known. If there’s a vulnerable woman within ten miles of you, you’re gonna find a way to get your dick involved. This is Peg all over again.”
Reece launched himself to his feet. At least he had his jeans on. “Shut your goddamn mouth before both of us regret it.”
“Or you’re gonna do what, little brother? Hit me? Screw up another opportunity for us and set us back to square one, for what, the hundredth time? Sexual harassment and drug possession—great, real great. Jesus, you just can’t help yourself. Except wait, you can, because you’re a grown man. Or at least supposed to be.”
“Stop it,” I yelled, yanking the robe around me for modesty’s sake. “Both of you, stop it.”
Last night felt like something out of a dream. Every night with Reece did. But here, with everything exposed in the daylight, I felt unsteady. Off-kilter. Everything that had seemed so clear last night suddenly evaporated with the dawn and this horrible argument.
I hated to see them argue. I hated to be the cause of the arguing.
The scent of burnt crème anglaise from my nightmares was filling the air. Landing hard on the ground beside shattered glass shards, my cheek on fire. Why do you ruin EVERYTHING, you stupid bitch?
I stood up and shoved my feet into my slippers. All these nights trying to be something else, to be someone else… God, it was all just self-delusion. I was still her and I always would be.
“And look,” I whisked the robe around my shoulders. “There’s no problem anymore, ’cause I quit, okay? I was never gonna stay around here long anyway. Just give me my pay for the work I’ve done till now and I’m gone.”
I stomped out of the stable, my nose burning and hot tears scalding my eyes.
“Wait, Charlie—”
Reece tried to follow me, but his brother stopped him. Good. A clean break would be the best.
I shook my head, feeling stupid. I knew it. I knew everything had been going too good. I knew it was all about to crash down around me.
Well, good. I swiped at a tear as soon as it fell. Now it had happened. Better now than later. I’d gotten it out of the way.
This whole place was just… None of it had ever been real. It was a waystation. Just a strange stop along the way to my real life.
And I’d learned lessons. Good lessons. Don’t let people in so quick. What the hell had I been thinking doing everything I had been with Reece lately? Letting down so many guards. If it was all just pretend, then why did I hold him so tightly all night long like that? How could I have let myself trust any man enough to fall asleep in their arms?
I covered my face with my hands remembering it, mortified.
Except it hadn’t been mortifying then. It had been… well, it had been wonderful, amazing, beyond. Every time.
Gah, I just needed to scrub it all out of my mind. None of it mattered. There were far bigger tragedies in my past to be recovering from to be wasting any tears over a few-nights stand.
So what if he’d held me so close to his body all night I’d fallen asleep to the sound of his heartbeat? So what if for the first time in I couldn’t remember when, I hadn’t had nightmares? It was so chilly out there, at least fifty degrees overnight, and yet I’d slept like a baby tucked against his big body.
I shook my head roughly to expel the memories.
It. Didn’t. Matter.
There were things that mattered, and things that didn’t matter, and guess what? One night tucked up against a warm, gentle giant, was in the big ol’ fat column of things that didn’t matter.
So it was nice. I’m sure in my life ahead I’d find lots of things that were nice. I’d meet lots of nice people. Jesus, the last thing I needed to be doing right now was tangling with a man, anyway. Seriously, the absolute last thing.
It was sooooo much better that I was leaving now.
I stomped up the stairs, past where Ruth was brewing coffee and staring at me with wide eyes as I tromped right past her.
“Where’ve you been?” she asked after me.
“Can you drive me to Austin?” I asked, not really listening for her response because I didn’t want to answer her questions. “I’m leaving today.”
