Page 51 of Saved By the Grump


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“Jane.” I shake her a little to bring her attention back to my face. “I don’t want anything from you. And if you ask me, I think our friendship has run its course.”

“No,” she denies it frantically and opens her mouth to say something else, but I cut her off with a shake of the head.

“Jane…” I try to think of any other way to let her down since neither the gentle way nor the harsh way have worked. “Look, I don't even know why you want this so bad. I’m not all that, I promise you. I’m old and cranky and can’t give you the life you want. In a few months to years from now, you’ll probably meet a man who can, and then you’ll marry him and have beautiful children and this will only be an embarrassing memory.”

She bites her lips, eyes welling up with tears.

I tug her gently toward the door. “So, come on, let’s go.”

“No!” she barks out suddenly, and with an unexpected strength, she tears herself out of my arms and runs to the couch. She grabs on to it with a stubborn look that has threat leaden in them. “And if you try to force me out, I’ll call the cops and…and tell them you put your hands on me.”

That gives me pause, but I can see from her eyes that she means every word.

“Huh," is all I can say. I never pegged her for the type but I should have. In my experience, the most unassuming ones always turn out to be the craziest.

I shake my head at her, and pull out my cell phone, not telling her that there are security cameras all over the apartment that will prove her wrong.

“I’ll do you one better,” I say instead. “Let me call them myself.”

Her eyes widen at the threat, but I’m done taking it easy with her.

“Greg,” I say the minute he answers.

“What is it?” he grouches.

“I’m going to need one of your guys down here ASAP. There’s an uninvited guest in one of my homes who refuses to leave.”

Greg has been dealing with my women problems almost as long as I have and he says in an amused voice, “Another one?”

“Yup.”

He chuckles. “You sure know how to pick ‘em. Casey will be there in thirty.”

“Make it faster,” I say, then hang up.

Greg comes through because the officer gets there within twenty minutes. And the entire time, Jane is on her knees, offering me every type of sexual favor imaginable. Every time I say no, she goes through most stages of grief, from anger straight to bargaining, but she always skips over acceptance before the cycle begins again.

She’s stuck on anger when the sirens get closer and her eyes widen in disbelief when the knock comes.

“It’s open,” I announce, and a short, red-haired, bespectacled officer walks in.

He says nothing to me, heading straight for Jane. “Alright. Let’s get going now.”

“No,” she screams and fights back. “He hit me!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Casey says disbelieving as he carts her out. I throw him a look of thanks.

“You ought to consider a restraining order,” he says as he leaves. “This one seems like an extra level of crazy."

“I will,” I say, shutting the door behind them.

Later though, because in the following silence, I’m getting anxious again that Delilah's been gone too long. I sit for a few more minutes, trying to control my paranoia, before I get up, failing spectacularly.

I call her again but she doesn’t answer.

Fuck it. I should go look for her.

Or would that be too obsessive?

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