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And the next second, Oliver is there, tackling him to the floor.
I thought I was dreaming when I first saw Oliver through the window. I thought that my mind was so desperate and afraid that I conjured up the image of a hero coming to save me.
But then I saw the look in Oliver’s eyes and I knew I wasn’t dreaming. Because even in my dreams, I couldn’t capture that look of a perfect blend of fear, rage, and determination.
To saveme.
“You didn’t answer your phone,” he says, and it takes me a second to realize he's replying to the question I asked him.
“I left you a message,” I counter, and he nods.
“Yes, but after that, you stopped answering your phone even though you knew I would be worried that you were out late. That was my first red flag. And I just had a bad feeling in my gut. I told myself that I was being paranoid and maybe I was jealous or something.”
“Jealous?” That doesn’t make any sense.
“Yeah,” he says, and then glances at me for a quick second before announcing. “I only get to see you a few hours a day, and I don’t really like sharing that time with anyone else.”
Oh.
There goes my heart galloping away again.
Why does he keep saying these things? Is he trying to make me even more in love with him than I already am?
The thought gets me to pause. But I can't deny it anymore. My mind won't allow me, reminding me that when I thought I would die, he was one of my biggest regrets. The fact that he would never know how I truly felt about him.
I can't deny it anymore. I am in love with Oliver.
“Anyway,” he continues, interrupting my frantic thoughts. “I tried not to think about it, but then I got a call from Ben. He told me that the threat was written on a piece of paper from some secret organization of losers who hate women.” He gave a bitter smile that was still filled with hatred. “Your professor came to mind.”
His expression is still full of loathing and it directly mirrors the one on his face when he fought Theo. I shiver as I remember the look on his face as he choked Theo, that killing rage. If it was anyone else, I would have been afraid to be in the car with him right now, but I wasn’t scared of Oliver. He saved my life. Protected me.
Was willing to kill for me.
“He’s done this before,” I say, remembering what Rena said. “Theo, that is. Rena told me about it." I heard her tell the police about it too, she didn’t go into detail on how she felt but he had talked to her about me. "He gaslighted her this whole time, told her I was flirting with him and stuff. But she didn’t believe him until I went on a date with him. That’s why she reacted like that and threw me out.”
“Hmm,” Oliver says. “I guess he gets off on having two girls fight over him. Loser.”
“How did you get up there?” My voice is quieter now. "To the balcony."
“I used the trellis,” he answers with a smile. “All I thought about was getting to you, that I had to do something. Save you. My body just sprang into action, I guess."
I’m so focused on listening to him that I don't even realize when we arrive home. He stops the car and comes around to the other side to open the door for me, holding out his hand. I don’t think I need the support until I put my feet on the floor and find that my legs are shaky.
"Come on.” He wraps his hand around my waist and leads me to the door, and it’s a little bit of déjà vu. Because this is the way he took me into the cottage the first time too. Same drive. Same gentleness. Same everything.
It spells out the obvious truth of our relationship.
I am a disaster and can’t quite seem to avoid making a mess of myself in front of him and for him. Things could have gone very differently today, and he may even have been hurt. Or killed over me.
I never would have been able to forgive myself.
I sit on the couch and he goes into the kitchen, coming out a few minutes later with hot cocoa.
The entire time I think about what I’m going to say to him, and how we’re going to proceed knowing that I love him.
I broke my own rule. Even though I didn’t have sex with him again, avoided him as much as I could, I still managed to fall in love with him, and the only way to get over my feelings would be to stay away from him entirely. It would also keep him away from my problems.
But then there’s also the baby to think about.
