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My pulse was pounding in my head, like I’d just been sucker punched or something. And the weirdest thing in the middle of it all was the way Johnny looked at Lex.
Dane didn’t even see it. He was still staring at me. But Johnny had turned to Lex, and Lex had gone fucking pale. I watched his knuckles turn white as he gripped his beer.
“Lex, man,” Johnny said in a low voice. “I think you need to tell him.”
Lex looked like he was staring at a ghost. He was staring at me, but he didn’t look right. I’d never seen that look on his face.
“What?” I demanded. “Tell me what?”
Lex set his beer carefully on the bar.
“What’s going on?” Dane said when he saw Lex’s face.
“Dane.” Johnny got to his feet. “Let’s go upstairs.” He took Dane’s arm and tugged him to his feet.
“What…?” Dane said.
Lex still looked pale. “I don’t think I—”
“Yes. You really do,” Johnny said firmly but gently, cutting Lex off. “Let’s go.” He nudged Dane toward the door, and Dane went with him, throwing me a look.What the hell?that look said.
I had no idea what the hell.
Then Johnny and Dane were gone, and I was alone with Lex in that weirdly silent room, with my heartbeat pounding in my head.
And Lex still had that look on his face.
“Maybe we should sit down,” he told me. But he was already sitting on a bar stool.
I went behind the bar and poured myself a vodka. I leaned on the bar and stared him down. “What’s going on?”
“You know I love you and everything, right?”
I took that in. “Okay, that was an ominous way to start a conversation, bro. Yeah. Sure, I know you love me. We’ve been brothers a long time.”
“And I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
I just stared at him. Why was I getting creeped out?
I took a sip of my vodka, studying him. Lex wasn’t exactly a guy to get rattled easily. Most of the time he was calm and collected. Easy going. He had a good heart. Cared about his friends, loved the hell out of his wife. But he was a biker, too. He was tough.
I just couldn’t make sense of the vibe he was giving off right now. I could see it all over his face. Like… guilt or something. He looked sick, actually.
“What happened, Lex? What does Johnny want you to tell me?”
He cleared his throat. “You know that thing Johnny told you about, last month? That thing from his childhood?”
Yeah. I knew that thing.
It wasn’t something I’d ever forget. It wasn’t something I liked to think about, either. Johnny had told me, in confidence, about a terrible incident from his childhood that had pretty much fucked him up for life. And I’d promised him that I wouldn’t talk to anyone about it. I promised myself that I wouldn’t bring it up, ever, unless Johnny wanted to talk about it again.
Obviously, he must’ve told Lex the same story. And I was sure that Lex would’ve promised to keep it to himself, too. I really wasn’t sure why he’d bring it up to me.
“Yeah…” I said carefully.
“When he told me,” Lex said, “I knew it was really fucking hard for him. Obviously. And I guess I felt compelled to share, too. So he wasn’t the only one being, you know, vulnerable. I told him some shit from my past that I wasn’t proud of. He thinks I should tell you, too. And he’s right.”
“So… tell me.”
