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“Just… tell me something first. Are you actually thinking of letting Jolie go?”
This, again. Why the fuck was he bringing her up?
“What if I am?”
“Shane, she’s all you’ve thought about since she showed up in town. It’s brutally obvious. I’ve never seen you so obsessed about anything, even training, winning a fight… and I’ve definitely never seen you half as wrapped up in any other woman. You barely mention their names as they come and go. This girl… you sayJolielike she’s life. Don’t you know that you’re in love with her?”
Everything he said was true.
And everything he said just fucking hurt.
“If I let her go, it’s not because I don’t love her.”
“Yeah, you made that pretty clear just now. You’re giving her up because you think you don’t deserve her.”
“That’s not true.”
Maybe there was some truth in that, though.
“Well, it’s either that or you think you’ve got nothing to offer her. Because, why? That guy you were in high school is dead?”
“Maybe he really is.”
“You think you deserve to be dead instead, is that it? The right part of you died, and the wrong part of you survived that crash?”
A dark shiver ran right through me.
Yeah. So. There it was.
The ugly truth. Just hanging out for all to see.
Kind of felt like Lex had just peeled me open. And he hadn’t even fucked me.
Very weird feeling.
“I mean, I get that you care,” I told him. “But why are you so upset about this? Do you really care if I hook up with Jolie or not? If it’s not her, it’ll be someone else soon enough, right?”
Damn, that was cynical. Even for me. It was a terrible fucking thing to say about Jolie. But really, was it any of his business?
“Is that how you really feel?” he asked me. “You’re gonna toss away any hope you have of real happiness, over and again, because of a fucking car accident eleven years ago that you just won’t let yourself recover from?”
“I’m fucking recovered.”
“Physically, maybe.” He dragged his hand over his face. “I know it was hard for you, Shane. I was there, through your recovery. And I probably should’ve told you enough times that you’d actually listen, that it wasn’t your fault. I can see now, you really thought it was your fault. You still think it’s your fault… But Shane, that car accident was not your fault.”
“I mean, how do you know? You weren’t there.”
“But I know what happened.”
Yeah. We all knew what happened. That someone cut his brake line.
And I was the unfortunate bastard driving his car.
“Is this something to do with the Kings?” I asked him.
“No. Not the Kings.” He swallowed, then forced out, “My dad.”
Okay, that did not sound good. Lex’s dad was a notorious gangster.
