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I was standing at the back of the big banquet room, where the wedding ceremony was about to get started, followed by the reception.
It was an absolute dreamscape.
The venue staff and my aunts and cousins had worked tirelessly yesterday to help me get it all ready. And here we were, transported back in time to some old-Hollywood soirée, complete with red carpet, decorated in white and gold, with lush red roses everywhere. There was subdued chandelier lighting and glitter and happy faces. The bridal party in our classic red dresses, handsome men on our arms decked out in suit and tie, black and white, with red rose boutonnieres.
There was no one on my arm, though.
I’d gone with Mom’s preference, in the end. Of course. Shane was to escort me down the aisle, because at this point, I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing such a thing.
Trouble.
“If he doesn’t show up,” Aunt Madeleine had told me, “let’s have Ashley and Matt escort you down the aisle. Danica is the only one of us who’s married, so it makes sense that her husbands do it.” Maybe she could sense that I did not want to walk down the aisle alone.
Especially if I had to do it because Shane just didn’t show up.
“Okay,” I told her, because it was a good backup plan. And I didn’t want her to worry.
But I just kept telling myself we wouldn’t need it.
He’ll be here.
The wedding guests were all in their seats, waiting. And I was trying to convince myself that this wasn’t happening. It was like I was in some altered reality, my body and mind unwilling to accept the truth.
He’s not here.
Two days ago, all the members of the wedding party and the out-of-town guests had gathered for the welcome party. But Shane wasn’t among us. Last night, we had the wedding rehearsal and dinner, and apparently, Shane had said he wouldn’t make it. Madeleine told me. He’d spoken to Jacob about it.
He was still supposed to show up for the wedding, though.
But we were like minutes from walking down the aisle here.
According to Madeleine, Dani and Danica, who were all on lookout for me now, every time I asked them, he still hadn’t arrived in Whistler.
I wouldn’t believe that he’d actually skip out on his dad’s wedding. He wouldn’t be that cold, that cruel to Jacob, no matter how he felt about things between him and me right now… He wouldn’t do that. I knew he wouldn’t.
He cared about people, including his dad. I heard it in his voice when he spoke about them. He loved his family, despite the fact that he struggled with believing that they loved him back.
And as it turned out… I was right.
Because just before the ceremony started, he walked in.
The wedding party had slipped into the corridor outside the big banquet hall to get into place, and I felt him at the same moment I turned to see him. Like a moon quietly ascending to draw the oceans to it, he took his place in my line of sight and I couldn’t look away.
And right then, as I stood watching him, his dad greeting him with tears in his eyes and giving him a hug… I knew that I loved him.
Because the thought of having to say goodbye to him and get on a plane tomorrow, and fly away into a future without him, just plain hurt.
Terribly.
He looked stunning in his black suit. I’d never actually seen Shane in a full-on formal suit and tie. He was also wearing the ring I gave him, on his right pinky finger. I saw it as he stood talking with Brandon and he smoothed his tie. He looked guarded, not relaxed, but calm and in control.
I wondered what he was feeling.
I wondered if he’d missed me like I’d missed him. If this week had been even half the torture for him as it had been for me.
I knew it, so clearly, as I looked at him…
I didn’t need space.
