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I didn’t need time.
I didn’t need to think about it. I had no unanswered questions about him in my heart.
I love him.
It was that simple.
I wondered if he was dying to look around, to look for me, as his family gathered around, greeting him. He was the last Ellis to arrive, by far, and he definitely got a warm welcome. I wondered if any of them had truly worried that he wouldn’t show up.
I watched them all greet him, one by one, as Jacob disappeared into the banquet hall to take his place at the altar. Then Mom appeared, on the arm of her uncle Bernard, seizing everyone’s attention. And when Mom saw Shane, she moved in to give him a hug and a cheek kiss.
His gaze skipped over to me. Our eyes locked. He either felt me staring at him or he knew I was standing here the whole time.
I sucked in a breath.
Then his eyes moved back to my mom. He spoke to her for a moment, and then he started towards me.
I stood paralyzed, just waiting for him, clutching my bouquet of roses. And when he reached me, he looked straight into my eyes. He didn’t smile.
“Hello, Jolie,” he said softly, and I utterly melted.
“Hello, Shane.” My voice shook.
“You look so beautiful.” He didn’t even look at my knockout dress. He just stared into my eyes.
He offered me his elbow, but didn’t say another word as Aunt Mireille got us reorganized. Shane’s arrival had stirred us all up. My heart thudded, faster than normal, in my chest. He smelled so good. He felt so good standing next to me.
We’d do our walk down the aisle, we’d stand quietly through the ceremony, and then we’d have dinner. And at some point, I’d get a chance to talk to him. Alone.
As we all took our places in the order of things, with Shane among us, it feltright. I felt better. I felt closer to whole, in a weird way. I didn’t want to need a man in order to feel whole.
But there was no denying that when Shane and I were apart this week, he held onto a piece of me.
* * *
The ceremony was lovely.
But dinner was excruciating. Four courses, with many interruptions for toasts, jokes and stories. I’d seated Shane next to me at the head table, but unfortunately Uncle Bernard was on my other side and the man could talk. To be fair, he hadn’t seen me in years and he was very keen to keep up with the younger generation of the family.
I tried to give him my attention and answer all his friendly questions about my life in California, feeling sick about it the whole time.
I really wanted to talk to Shane, but he spent most of dinner talking to Aunt Marie on his other side. That woman could talk, too.
Damn.
Poor planning, Jolie.
I valued my family, so much. The idea of leaving them again was kinda heartbreaking. But I was struggling to take it all in, absorb and appreciate this moment, when my focus was so split.
Tonight, I was too fixated on the man I stood to lose.
His eyes met mine a few times, but then he always looked away. He never said anything to me except, “Do you want some more wine?” Then he refilled my glass for me from the bottle on the table.
When our dessert plates were finally being cleared away and after dinner drinks were rolling out, people started getting up to mingle. The lighting dimmed down and Mom and Jacob went up to have their first dance, to Etta James, “At Last.”
Shane didn’t move from his seat, so neither did I. Uncle Bernard had gone to mingle, but Aunt Marie was still talking Shane’s ear off.
Then the party really got started. The DJ dropped Justin Timberlake and JAY-Z, “Suit & Tie,” and guests of all ages headed to the dance floor. It was one of those perfect songs you could dance fast or slow to, and people did both, couples swaying or bumping and grinding. Danica’s husbands were chatting with Charlotte and Aunt Mireille at their table, and Dani and Danica ran to the dance floor, twirling each other.
