AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Can I what?”
“Can you play the piano?”
I’m very concerned this is a trap. “I dunno. Is it not like one of those things where you don’t realise but then you sit down at a piano and you’re like, well look at that?”
“Not really.”
“Oh. Look, I’m not sure what to tell yez because the doctor said—”
She’s folded her arms now, and she’s stopped looking suspicious but I’m thinking that’s because she’s upgraded from suspicion to certainty. “I’m willing to bet the doctor said something hurried and noncommittal because he had eight other patients waiting.”
I nod, hesitantly. “I guess I see why you’d rather make beds.”
“And I’m also willing to bet he didn’t sayyou’ve got the movie version of amnesia where you forget neat chunks of your past but can still form new memories perfectly well and also there’s this thing with a piano.”
“He didn’t say that, no.”
For a long, long time she just stares at me. “You haven’t got amnesia, have you?”
And for a long, long time I just stare back. Then I break. “Please,pleasedon’t tell him. I know how this sounds but it’s not just for me, it’s for my team.”
“Firstly, I wasn’t going to.” She turns back to giving the pristine a bit of a repristining. “Secondly, when would I? I’ve met him once and he communicates entirely by text.”
“You could text him back.”
“True, I could send a message out of nowhere sayingyour suit’s at the dry cleaners and the man who lives in your house doesn’t really have amnesia.That would in no way make my life needlessly complicated.”
“I’m not living in his house,” I protest. “I’m just…sleeping here and having all my meals here and my cat’s here.”
“That’s a cat?”
“Yeah. He’s a cat. I can tell you’re a doctor not a vet.”
She looks at him in that medical way that medical people have. “He mightneeda vet.”
“He’s been to the vet. He’s had all his everything. He’s fine, but there’s nothing they can do about the ears. Or the tail. Or his face. And, anyway, you shouldn’t body shame him.”
Leaving the kitchen area, she comes over to the sofa and kneels down by where Gollum has perched himself and takes him by the paws. “I’m very sorry, cat.”
“His name’s Gollum.”
“I’m very sorry, Gollum. I’m sure you’re a very good cat even if you’re riddled with toxoplasmosis.”
“Hey.” I try to give her a warning look, but I think my essential affability ruins it. “Don’t be mean. And he’s not got toxoplasmosis.”
“He probably does. And anyway, he’s a cat, he doesn’t care what you say, only how you say it.” She sits down between us, and Gollum scoots off—apparently he can sense slander even if he can’t understand it. “So why are you pretending to have amnesia?”
I hesitate. Partly because I don’t want to drop anybody in it, partly because she does technically work for Jonathan, and partly because now I’m having to say it out loud it sounds really fucking silly. “Okay, so I’m going to start at the end, which is that if Jonathan finds out I don’t have amnesia, he’s going to fire me and at least two of the people who work with me, maybe more.”
She looks sympathetic. Not risk-her-job sympathetic, but at least won’t-screw-me-for-a-laugh sympathetic. “And why would he do that?”
“I mean, you thought he was a serial killer, so I think firing a couple of people is probably within his capabilities.”
“I thought he might be a serial killer because he lives alone in a big house with far too many bathrooms and enough room for a soundproofed basement. Why do you think he’s going to fire everybody you work with?”
“Because he said,Sam, I’m going to fire everybody you work with if you don’t start acting like more of a bellend.”
“I’m guessing he didn’t say that exactly.”
