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I take a deep breath and focus on what’s in front of me—disgruntled customers. People I need to make happy. Fingers crossed, I attempt to win them over with long-winded apologies, promises of a better experience in the future, and offers of free food and drinks on their next visit.
“I don’t like seeing you like this,” Mags says.
Death would be preferable to how I feel right now.
Sleep had been shit before construction started. Now, an hour of sleep is a luxury. While the town sleeps in their cozy beds, I lie awake, staring at the ceiling, and regretting every choice I have ever made. The construction is just the tip of the iceberg. Because while the saw buzzes and drills squeal and the bang, bang, banging of hammers happens from ten in the evening to three in the morning, I get maybe an hour or two of sleep.
Since the overnight construction began, I have fallen asleep in the office each day following. It’s a good day if my eyes stay open and the makeup masking my dark circles doesn’t fade.
“Just exhausted,” I say on a yawn. “The construction will be done in a few weeks. I’ll sleep like the dead on day one.”
Mags hits pause on the remote and leans into my left side. Lena sets down her fork and adds her weight to my right. When Mags came in for breakfast this morning, she took one look at me and said we should cancel girls’ night. When I said no, she countered. If I refused to cancel, then we’d do girls’ night at her house.
Takeout from J’s Sushi Bar, a cheesy rom-com, and pajamas. It sounded like heaven and I said yes without hesitation.
She surveys the lines of my face then shakes her head. “No, there’s something else you’re not telling us.”
Every stressor I’ve experienced in the past four weeks, Mags and Lena know of them. All but one. Braydon. And I don’t know if I have the energy to bring him up.
Lena knocks my shoulder with hers. “We love you, no matter what.”
With a heavy sigh, I nod. “Same.”
“Then tell us what has our brightest friend so glum,” Mags says as she lays her head on my shoulder.
As we fill our bellies with sushi, udon noodle soup, and katsu chicken, I rehash every sorted detail about Braydon. From our first night during the centennial celebration to his most recent visit to his abrupt departure.
I spill my heart and they listen to every word without interruption. And when I finish, they cocoon me in the tightest hug. Squeeze all the hurt out and replace it with the love only they provide.
My eyes grow heavy and Mags tells me to stay tonight. Sleep in the spare room and get a good night’s sleep. I cave the moment the words leave her lips.
I needed tonight. Needed to share the hurt Braydon unknowingly left in his wake. A hurt I didn’t think was possible. I’d put up walls for years and no one made a dent. Not even a scratch.
Then Braydon waltzed into town with his charming smile and nerdy boy next door swagger. Without effort, he cracked my foundation. I tried to fight what I felt. I said things I didn’t mean.
In the end, I hurt myself as much as I hurt him. The worst part… there is no way to say I am sorry. No way to reach out. No way to beckon him back. Because I said no contact. I deleted our texts and his info from my phone, and it was the stupidest decision.
CHAPTER20
BRAYDON
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see a new social media notification.
[beh0103]: Java and Teas Me added a new post to their feed
Another notification pops up.
[beh0103]: Java and Teas Me added to their stories
Yep, I am officiallythatguy. The stalker guy. Well, notreallya stalker. An avid follower with alerts in place. I mean, if the option is available, then it isn’t wrong. I never comment on any of the posts. Most of them are pictures of food or drinks or the café. Occasionally, one of the employees will pop up in a picture with food or a drink.
Alessandra has yet to appear in any images. Every time an alert comes through, I hold my breath as I open the app. And each time, disappointment seeps in.
“No phones at the table.”
My eyes snap up from the screen as I lock my phone and stuff it back in my pocket. “Sorry, Mom.”
Gretchen gives me a soft smile. “We have plenty of time outside of these sporadic dinners to scroll sites and answer emails. Time for us is important too.” She spears a piece of chicken and some green beans. “Shawn, have you gotten updates on your fall classes?”
