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Eyes locked on his, my fingers toy with the hem of my shirt.Tell him the truth. Tell him you love him too.
“I’m scared.” The words are next to inaudible as they leave my lips. “Scared of whoever is doing this.” I wave a hand toward the building. “Scared of this.” I gesture to his bag and car as tears blur my vision. “Everything feels out of my control. Life. Work. Love.” I break eye contact as the first tear falls.
Fuck.I don’t want to cry. Not anymore. Not because some random person is messing with my life. Ruining every good thing I have. I won’t give them the power.
Braydon clasps my chin with his thumb and finger, bringing my eyes back to his. “Love?” The single-worded question faint on his lips.
Another tear escapes. “You know I do.” I nibble at my lower lip. Try to hide the quiver of my chin. “But saying it… I’ve never…” I press the heel of my palm to my breastbone. “You walked away from me tonight. Rather than giving me time to process, to say the right words, you got up and abandoned me.” Tears paint parallel lines down my cheeks as my arms band around my middle. “That hurt me, Braydon.Youhurt me.” I swipe the tears from my cheeks. “Losing you”—I laugh without humor—“is what scares me most.”
Strong arms capture and haul me close. Smother me against his chest. Shush me as the dam bursts and soaks his shirt with my tears.
“Sorry I walked off. It was juvenile and shitty.” He hugs me tighter. “I love you so damn much it hurts,” he whispers against my crown. “And when you said you couldn’t do this, it was a knife to the heart.” Warm lips kiss my hair. “Every time we kissed, every time we touched, I felt loved. But I don’t have the greatest track record with intuition.”
I inch back and look up to meet his eyes. Swallowing, I dig deep and drag my bravery to the surface. “I do love you.”
His entire frame melts and molds to mine. He lifts a hand and brushes away stray locks stuck to my cheek. “Thank god.” And then he crushes my lips with his.
CHAPTER38
BRAYDON
Every minute of our free time over the long weekend was spent in the apartment after Alessandra confessed her feelings. Movies and takeout and hours on the couch in pajamas. I’d never had a better weekend with her.
When she had to work, Anderson and I hiked the lakeside trails. We cooked dinner and he laughed at my inability to cut vegetables with any type of skill. We talked work and favorite places we visited as well as bucket-list trips. There wasn’t much Anderson hadn’t seen, but it’d be nice to travel with him and Alessandra.
“Why can’t you stay?” Alessandra sticks out her bottom lip as she drapes her arms over my shoulders and hauls me in for a kiss.
“Believe me, I don’t want to go, firecracker.” I fist her hips and drag her body flush with mine. “Maybe I need to talk with Dad about working remotely.”
“Mmm. I like this idea.”
I love that she likes the idea.
The office I occupy in Washington’s Hidden Gems is more of a catchall than a necessity. Not as if I own the magazine and have meetings with shareholders. The meetings I attend are more brainstorming sessions on where to go next—all of which can be done via conference call or video chat. The only people to go in my office are me when I need a space to write and Dad when he wants to talk with me about a story or plan a get-together.
My best writing is done outside the cramped office. If I ask Dad to let me work remotely, he will grant me the privilege. If it will bring me happiness, his answer will be a swift yes.
Years back, we talked at length about the future of the magazine and my position in the company. From the start, Dad wanted the magazine to stay in the family. To never sell to a bigger name, regardless of the financial temptation. Upon retirement, his original plan was to pass the reins to me, to make me CEO. I declined. Honored as I am that he holds me in such high esteem, I’d rather explore and write stories than remain rooted in an office all day, staring at financial and sales goals.
Shawn is the better candidate to pass the company on to when the time comes. He has the more analytical mind. Loves numbers and marketing and people-pleasing. He is goal oriented and ambitious and eager to make our parents happy.
Once I hit the road, I will call Dad. Ask to have dinner tonight with the family. Toss out the idea of working remotely as we sit around the table and share a meal. Dad may not be keen on the idea, but he knows cramped quarters, clunky desks, and fluorescent bulbs make me twitchy. He knows my love for the wilderness, the sun heating my skin, the crisp air in my lungs.
The idea may not thrill him, but he will agree to it.
I kiss her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips. “Call you tonight.” My lips find hers again and I moan as she deepens the kiss. “Love you, firecracker.”
She presses her forehead to mine. “Love you, Care Bear.”
Heat radiates from the center of my chest and warms me toe to top.I love those words on her lips.May have taken a slap of reality for her to confess, but knowing they didn’t come easily makes them that much sweeter.
Reluctantly, I release her hips and step back. Open the car door and slip behind the wheel. Crank the engine and blast the air conditioning. Throw the car in reverse and wave as I back away.
This weekend may have ended much differently had she not caught me before I got to my car Friday night.
In twenty seconds, both our lives would have changed. Me driving away angrily while she cried over holding back how she felt. I would have been devastated. Fat, furious tears blurring my vision as I left her behind. Destroyed in a matter of minutes as I swore off love and women for good.
But she did catch me. She did stop me and say the words I had silently begged to hear.
